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Discussion
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Does anyone feel different by being “mainstream” and not “counter “
updated 2 years, 11 months ago
2 Members
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I wear Hawaiian shirts and flip flops, and my favorite music is old songs from the 80’s. Magic comes from within. Doesn’t matter what the outside looks like.
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As Terry Pratchett said, witches live on the edges and in the gaps, in liminal spaces where many things can be possible at once. I enjoy the dichotomy of being a completely normal looking – boring even – 30-something woman, and having interests and an inner life that people are usually very surprised by. Duality is fascinating and complex, and you should embrace it. Like a wicked little secret just waiting for someone to discover it. You sort of expect the person wearing black nail polish and armfuls of crystal bracelets to be a witch; you don’t necessarily expect the unassuming mom in a twin-set and pearls.
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Just be confident in who you are. You don’t need aesthetics to be involved in the community (or any community) if anyone tries to call you out for being a “poser” or something like that just stand strong in your wants desires and self and say the truth, aka the reason why you’re interested in the first place, and show people your passion!
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Seriously, the “aesthetic” bit is not a requirement. You do you, that’s the beauty of witchcraft. Nobody telling you how to practice or what to wear.
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I’m a basic witch right down to my little pumpkin spice latte and that’s OK. Also, right or wrong, being an out witch AND dressing/acting the part in public can be flat out dangerous. You do you, just as the goddess created you.
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Just do what you want and what makes you happy. Do you listen to Taylor Swift because everyone listens to Taylor Swift or because you like Taylor Swift ? Because if it’s the second one hey I’m counter mainstream as fuck but I like Taylor Swift. She makes good music. It’s fine.
As long as you’re not “mainstream” because you feel like you have to or because it’s expected of you it’s fine. The counter-mainstream it’s about not really leaning into trends and just doing your own thing really. Just do that the mainstream is bound to change and to have you outside of it. I’ve been punk and part of the punk movement since I was an early teen. I still am but like last year or smth alternative clothes raised a lot in trends, I could have been perceived as someone mainstream in that sense even if I was always the peak of counterculture since forever.
It happens, trends change. Doesn’t matter.
Don’t do and like things because of other people do but because you enjoy them and you’d like to try. You could make a list or like a pinboard or wtv of type of aesthetic things you’d want to try or has always wanted to try regardless of it’s trendy or not, just things you’re thinking of and have thought of thorough your life that made you go “Oh awesome I wish I could try that” and just do it. Even if it’s chaotic and makes no sense and doesn’t fit a particular aesthetic. If it makes you feel confident and happy it’s all that matters.
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I practice solo but my aesthetics are purely functional. I wear a lot of black but I have kids and usually end up with food or bodily fluids on me at some point so the monochrome wardrobe makes changing easy. I don’t think it makes a difference and it doesn’t make you any less committed to your craft. Live authentically and not performatively. People will respect that and accept that. If they can’t, they aren’t your people.
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This isn’t high school. Nobody else cares what “aesthetic” you are. Do what you want, because you don’t have to give a shit about anyone else’s opinions on the things you wear anymore.
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Be you AND let others be themselves. If your interests are mostly mainstream, that’s not just ok, that’s wonderful, and you can totally embrace it. As long as you don’t have a problem with other people doing their thing too, it’s totes fine.
On the other hand, if you want to get more counter culture-y, look around at what others in your various social circles are doing for inspiration, or even look at other communities entirely for that matter. When you find an interest (and eventually you will) you can then explore it.
But don’t force an interest. A lot of spirituality is really about following what speaks to you, the things that enliven you (and becoming a better you while at it and trying to do so in a socio-environmentally friendly way etc etc etc, of course).
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Maybe host a meetup for “corporate pagans?” Seriously, it’s not all about aesthetics. I work a managerial job and to look at me, nobody would guess. The more tuned in might notice the tiny arrangement of “objects” on my desk that are for protection, but they are so personal to me nobody thinks they are anything more than decoration. I hope you felt welcomed at your meetup.
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I’m a “counter” type (or at least I was…COVID kind of killed my will to weird; it’s not as fun to dress up and do your hair just to stay home and chill with your partner), but I don’t care how “weird” you are, just that you come to the craft and the work sincerely. Some of the greatest occultists in history—true mistresses and masters—dressed and behaved conservatively in their mundane lives. It often suits our interests more to fit in than to stand out.
One of my sisters in The Thelemic Order (TTO) is as “basic” as they come…listens to pop, works in an office, etc. But she is also awesome and we talk all the time.
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Oh honey there’s nothing wrong with feeling like you don’t fit in. I don’t look anything like my other coven members with my cottagecore asthetic, floral dresses, and aprons. But I am a magikal being nonetheless 😊. I’m lovingly referred to as Nana because I exude grandma energy. 🤣
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I mean, I probably do somewhat lean into the typical alt “witchy” (?) style given my already existing punk/grungy aesthetic, but still, no one ever really suspects the little redneck dude who dresses like a dad 90% of the time and I personally find it pretty amusing.
Point is, not a damn thing truly matters about how ya look if you’re dedicated to your craft ;p
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Technically in those spaces that makes you counter to the mainstream, not them.
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do as u please, like whatever u like, and practice what YOU believe in. don’t gaf about other people n how they present themselves bc all that really matters is what’s within. ur practice is ur own. there isn’t a set guide for what ur supposed to do EXACTLY. do u booboo
