You’re very close to a useful answer. Well done.
You have some misconceptions, but they’re tiny. Healing simply means to be made whole. It does not mean to because some kind of perfect super being. It just means to be made whole.
So you can be healed. You can also go out and live your life after the healing and cut your aura in half, knock your chakras all to hell, and freeze your energy into a solid block. That only says to me that you are living with gusto! All of that can be made whole again.
Let’s set aside the higher self discussion for now; it’s isn’t useful in this context.
What is useful is learning to heal yourself, and the first step in doing that happens to be the same first step in increasing your awareness. The goal is to get you healthy enough as a spirit to know your own answers to these questions. I don’t mean you should stop asking them because there are answers available from those your cross paths with that can change your life for the better. But the goal is for you to find your certainty about yourself, and that is absolutely possible for the most part. There may be things we never see and never understand, but so what? There’s so much else that we can do and learn and be. Perfection need not be one of those things to have lived a useful, rich life.
Try this. Sit in a chair. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Feet flat on the floor. Hands separated and resting palms up on each thigh.
Create a grounding cord. This is a line of energy that connects your first chakra to the center of the planet. Your first chakra is a ball of energy about the size of a quarter that sits just in front of the base of your spine. Your grounding cord attaches to the bottom of that ball of energy.
Grounding makes your body feel safe, so you release energy more easily. Gravity pulls whatever you release, even your own energy, down to the center of the planet. No effort on your part. The center of the planet neutralizes the energy and returns it to whoever owns it. No karma for anyone. A virtuous cycle.
Nearly everyone goes to connect to the center of the planet the first time but stops at the soil, often making roots like a tree. This is a method that is taught in some martial arts styles, but it is not the best option for your spiritual development and healing.
So, notice the seat of your chair. Take a deep breath. Notice the distance between the seat and the floor. Now notice the distance between the floor and the soil below. Breathe.
Now notice the distance between the soil and the water table underneath. Notice the distance between the water table and the rocky mantle. Notice the distance between the mantle and the molten core below that. Deep breath.
Notice the distance between the molten core and the center of the planet. That ball of light at the very center of the planet is where you connect your grounding cord. Deep breath.
Say hello to the center of the planet. Do you get a hello back?
Notice the color and texture of your grounding cord. It may look like a line of energy, or look like something physical; a rope, a wire, a pipe, a tree trunk. Adjust it as needed to be in affinity with your body.
Getting this far means you’ve already released some energy from your aura and body. Now it is time to fill in the space that was created.
Create a gold sun over your head. Have it call back all of your energy from wherever you left it throughout your day and week. Work. School. Online meetings. Video games. Your fantasies about your future. Your regrets about your past. Wherever you’ve placed your attention. Just watch the energy come back and see if you notice where it came from.
Have the sun burn up and neutralize your energy. Then bring the sun into the top of your head. It will automatically flow into the spaces you created. Create a gauge to measure when you’re full. Like a fuel gauge or oil gauge. You’ll run better if you aren’t a few quarts low on spiritual oil. If the gauge doesn’t read “Full”, bring in another gold sun.
Open your eyes, bend over and touch the floor, draining any tension from the back of your neck, then stand up, and stretch.
There is a progression with this technique. After grounding for ten minutes a day for a week or two, notice your grounding cord at the very end, while you’re standing with your eyes open. Continue to ground with your eyes open and standing, and bring in another gold sun. Each day, increase the amount of time that you ground standing up with your eyes open.
After a week or two practicing this, add walking while grounded. Just notice your grounding cord as you walk. Say hello to the center of the planet while you walk. Bring in a gold sun while you walk. If you lose your grounding cord, stop walking and recover it. If you have to, sit back down and close your eyes and create a new grounding cord.
After this, you’re ready to take your grounding cord with you into your daily life. Shopping. Getting coffee. Wherever you go, you can ground. This, combined with a little amusement about seeing new things on an energy level, will keep you safe and sound.
Now that you’re here, at the end of your grounding meditations, create a gold sun over your head. This time, fill it with you highest creative essence, your present time growth vibration, and affinity for yourself. The first is a healing for you. The second is a healing for your body. The third is a healing for your affinity in your fourth chakra.