Frustrated and would like some guidance please

[mark]

Apologies if this gets a little rambly. I’m typing this out as I lay in bed and am half drifted off to sleep. Firstly, some background. I’ve been drawn towards witchcraft since I wandered into a metaphysical shop in a strip mall as a preteen and walked out with a copy of Dancing With Dragons. I’ve had several long stretches of not practicing anything due to my abusive evangelical parents and I’ve only really been unpacking what was done to me and who I really am for the last 4 years or so.

Anyways over the years I’ve tried a few different paths. I’ve tried working with beings such as dragons, gods and goddesses of different pantheons, and even a brief stint with chaos magick. My frustration stems from feeling like nothing I tried clicks with or resonates with me. I’ve been looking around here and other places and it seems like most practitioner’s are mostly eclectic and / or freeform. My problem is that I have a very hard time with this and have come to the conclusion that I need some sort of structure too work in.

So yeah, pretty rambly but I hope my intent got through somehow. Any guidance, advice, or tips would be greatly welcomed.

Discussion

[Vastarien202]

That’s a tough spot to be in. It can take a while to get to a point where you feel stable in practice, and that applies to everything. Many of us are in the same cauldron as you. I had to futz around too until I decided to look at why so much wasn’t what I wanted.

Once I understood the things I was rejecting, I could make a path for myself that made more sense to me. I despise un-earned authority. I don’t like stupid drama so I avoid covens.

Outside of established Traditions, there really isn’t a lot of pre made structure. Past a certain point, we really do have to create our own ways. Find the things you love in ordinary life, build out from there.
You might already be doing that.

Best of luck to you, and beware of anyone who says they have all the answers.

[pboothe]

In my opinion, if you grew up in a structured environment like church and wanted to pursue witchcraft it’s going to be drastically different. My practice is all over the place but that’s the way I function. Maybe finding a routine will help, like every week you do xyz. Meditation can help you find the answers? But what do I know lol hope this helps at least a little

[zwahk]

I was just like you for the first ten years of my practice until I settled on hoodoo sometimes you just have to be in it for a while and let the right path come to you it’s just a matter of being open-minded about what can happen and it certainly doesn’t hurt to go to spiritual supply shops and meet with people make friends online I think you’re making the right move cleaning out on the subreddit

[Comprehensive_Ad6490]

You said you have some experience with chaos magic, right? You’ve already got the building blocks of ritual, raising energy, etc. You’re just looking for symbols to plug into that practice. So maybe instead of looking for a pantheon or whatever, start from things that you already believe in and that already matter to you.

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Without writing a whole article here, I have principles that I believe in – that humans are more inclined to cooperate than compete, that everyone has a spark of greatness that they can nurture etc. It’s not a question of having faith that these things are true, so much as it is being willing to do the work to make them true. Some of the stuff I’ve got in my workspace includes a poster from an old comic book, circus tickets, a copy of The King In Yellow and a sugar skull that I made. None of them are particularly magical, or even recognizable to anyone else but they’re all deeply linked to deeply moving experiences in my life. Once you’re in motion, gods, spirits etc can come to you if they want to help.