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Discussion
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So I’m 7 months pregnant, and live across the across the country from my mom… for a reason.
She is an undiagnosed narcissist, and is very controlling when it comes to parenting. My oldest sister is a single mom and relies on my parents heavily for support (this is both a great thing and super toxic), which gives my mom access to my nephew’s life in an almost parental manner. Since I have been pregnant it is clear that she assumes she will have similar access to my son’s life.
Obvi this is an absolute no for me. My husband and I had a conversation after her last visit that it’s best if I’m not alone with her for a while. And if I’m not even comfortable being alone with her I’m sure as hell not letting her be alone with my kid.
Anyways, a few month ago we had a hard conversation about how my husband and I don’t want any family to travel for the birth (in-laws live across the country too), and how we don’t want visitors until a minimum 3 weeks after. This was a hard convo, but I thought she understood.
Well, long story short, during their most recent visit my parents almost bought property in my town. Apparently my reaction to this “surprise” was not what she wanted so they aren’t doing it (yay). But now I’m getting super manipulative comments from her about how they are too busy 3 weeks after my due date to visit. Some of the reasons are valid, but others are “we have weddings we have to go to,” and other such nonsense. I know she is trying to get me to cave and say “oh, you should just come for the birth.” And honestly, I’m so exhausted from the boundaries I’ve been holding with her that I’m afraid I’m going to say something dumb in a moment of weakness
I don’t want this. My husband doesn’t want this. But my pattern with my mom is I set a boundary, she makes manipulative jokes and comments until I soften a little, and eventually months later, she gets what she wants from me. I’m tired of it and am finally ready to grow a backbone. But I don’t want to cut her out of my life. For better or worse, she’s my mom and I love her.
I guess I just would love to hear some success stories from you all. Any tips for a baby witch learning to stand her ground? What was your experience like? Any spells I could try? And if you have any extra energy, could you send that strength my way? Love you all🖤
