-
Discussion
-
my bf of 4 years (my first love) broke up with me then started dating a new girl 4 days later. he had told me he would never do long distance and started doing it with her. i feel so betrayed and hurt. it’s been two months since he last contacted me and i am having a hard time with the idea that he might be over me or that he could be so happy with someone else so quickly.
i want him to contact me or at least get some sign that this relationship will not last. something that shows i’m not the only one still mourning our relationship. or at least something for me to stop thinking about him and her/something to give me the strength not to check up on their relationship.
i’m new to this whole thing, but would love any advice. please help me out
-
help moving on from an ex
updated 2 years, 8 months ago
2 Members
·
1
Reply
-
I suggest not giving him any more energy. Wanting him to contact you isn’t gunna help you heal.
I suggest journaling as often and as much as you can. Put as much in it as you can, the hurt, all these feels, and the connection you used to have. When you are ready burn it, cut it, burry it lay it to rest in some way.
-
Block him on everything. Delete any pics or memories in your phone and on social media platforms. After doing an energetic cleanse! You can also look into banishing spells or cord cutting rituals.
-
he’s totally been deleted off of everything ! for the last couple months. it still hurts. i avoid anything related to him and have thrown everything thing out or cut it all up. no contact is working! i know it is. but it still comes up every day and i hate it
-
So, 1) give yourself space to mourn the relationship, just like you would mourn the loss of anything else. Think about all the good, and ask yourself why it was good, then think about all the bad and ask why it was bad. Resolve to take that with you moving forward. But also, just allow yourself to feel all the feels, the disappointment, the betrayal. Talk yourself through it.
2) you may never fully get over it. You’ll get over *him*. But you may very well still be pissed about it 10 years later. You may forever hold a tiny grudge that he was willing to sacrifice for this be chick in a way he wouldn’t sacrifice for you. Or they’ll break up and a part of you will feel justified. Whatever the outcome is, sometimes it will always bother us when we think about it. But it doesn’t have to dictate our lives.
3) visualize the relationship you want to have in the future and visualize it *without him*. Visualize a new person who would never hurt you like he did, never ask you to sacrifice more than they would sacrifice for you, etc. Eventually, you’ll reset your mind for what you’re looking for in a partner.
Do lots of cleansing rituals. Free yourself from the past to be open for what’s to come.
I was dating a guy for 3.5 years, during our time together he was convinced he would marry me as soon as he graduated college (I graduated before him), we moved in together etc. Only to break up with me a month after graduation. Said that in the end, he needed someone more A Type. Started dating a mutual friend of ours 6 months later (granted, a respectable time, so I don’t fault him for that). They’re now married, have a daughter, living that cliche suburban life.
Meanwhile, I dated a couple guys casually (who ended up being immature shits, but it got me back on my feet) for the next year before meeting the true love of my life, my husband now of 6 years, father of my children and WAY better partner than my ex was. I’m honestly SO grateful that I never married or had kids with my ex.
Yeah, even 10 years later I still feel like I should be doing better than him (like, I was kinda smug when I had a kid before they did, and then again when I found out I was pregnant with my second when his wife announced she was pregnant with her first….it’s stupid, and petty, and I’m not proud, but it’s there), but it’s a blip on my radar.
