Don’t hang too tightly on the idea of a perfect deck. You might miss out on some great ones. I was like you until I bought a deck that was not perfect in the beginning but it became perfect later.
My first dream deck was the Alchemical. Super expensive on ebay and almost impossible to find. Like you, I thought I would feel something like a cupid’s arrow hitting me in the chest and it did with this deck but I just could not get my hands on it. My first love was unatainable.
Ok, then I ordered the Da vinci and immediately regretted it. The cards didn’t speak to me at all but visually they were just too close to the Alchemical. A couple of days after the order I got a message that it was unavailable. I thanked them and they gave me my money back.
Then I browsed the Book Depository and found Shadowscapes. Not my favorite artwork but I love fantasy. And the Moon card is especially important to me (and this one was beautiful) so I was not in love but I took the plunge. It became the most amazing first deck. Detailed artwork that made it easy for me to learn the meanings, soft imagery pleasing to the eye, not a dream deck at first but it became one.
Then, I got the Witches Tarot as a present. I hated the artwork. It’s pretty enough but not my aesthetic. It became one of the most straightforward, no nonsense decks ever. If I have a specific question, not a meditative one, this one will not mince words.
Now I am waiting on the Deviant Moon deck cause I needed something darker. In the mean time I am sighing over the Hush Tarot deck but somehow I feel it’s not my time yet. I realised I want my decks to have different characters/personalities and even though I will love them in different ways, I will love them equally. Like kids 😀 Just pick one that’ll make it easier to learn so you don’t get frustrated. Tarot decks are like people. No such thing as the perfect first deck.