Romantic reading (Ik, ik, sorry)

[Moist_Peach_1142]

Tarot – Celtic Cross Spread
Stone Tarot Deck by Isabella from CraftCardsStore

1. current – 3 Wands Reversed

2. challenge – 7 Cups

3. need to focus on – 8 Pentacles R

4. past/leaving – 3 Pentacles R

5. strengths – Queen Wands R

6. near future – Sun R

7. advice – 3 Swords R

8. environment – Page P

9. hopes/fears – Empress (Knight Pentacles R clarifying)

10. potential outcome – Knight Cups R

I think, I’m paused and getting inside my own head (3W R aka 3 wands reversed) to reflect on what I want to do, such as trying to move myself and my son next August when my lease is up to flip work/school from in person work and online school to online work and in person school. My challenge (7C) is to make those choices. I need to focus on what motivates me (8P R) and why I’m living how I do and what I need to accomplish while also leaving behind (3PR) people/connections that hold me back or make me question myself. I’m able to always maintain composure and allow my low self image or insecurities take the backseat when things need done, trusting my intuition (QW R) and recovering quickly. I will continue to struggle w doubting myself because of years and years of intense trauma, (Sun R), but if I allow myself to keep moving on (3S R), the life I’ve built (Page P) within my desire to heal will always pay off. My hopes and fears lie on the same side of the coin (Empress; KnP R) are in my strength and if it will in fact pay off. I desire controlling my life and despite the prosperity I have fought for and live inside of because I maintain such composure, I am hurt from having to take on so much control, and worry it won’t be rewarded or appreciated. That it won’t be enough.

The part I’m stuck on is the outcome. Knight of Cups, reversed. Am I living in dread for no reason? Where is my fantasy? Is my failure just a figment? A worry? Will this fear knock down the things I’ve built? Hinder my ability to lead my charge?

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