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Discussion
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Has anyone else ever had this problem? When I am shielding or doing any kind of visualization, my mind works against me. I try to picture myself in a bubble but a part of me won’t let the bubble expand over my feet. Or when I am touching up my wards, a part of me says I missed a spot but makes it hard for me to fill in the spot I missed. Or if I’m cutting a cord, the cut pieces keep re-attaching and won’t dissolve or go into the ground. It’s like a part of me refuses to let myself visualize the things I need to make happen.
Is this self sabotage or something? I don’t think it’s a spirit, I’ve had this problem for a long time whether or not I had any attachments. I think it’s a part of me that won’t let me succeed at building something that will help me and protect me. I ask it to step back so I can finish but it only steps back a tiny bit and I have to fight it really hard every time.
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A part of me that always ruins my visualizations
updated 1 year, 8 months ago
2 Members
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Reply
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At this point I’d look at it as the mustard seed of faith. Tell your guides your intentions, ask them to help you fill in the holes that you can’t see or even see when it’s done. Then have FAITH that it worked as they will help you. Trust it.
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The subconscious mind is kinda a troll. I had this and other issues as well as aggressive thoughtforms, intrusive thoughts, like sitting with my spirit guide and suddenly they open like a venus fly trap head and bite into me like cake.
It slowly went away but it took literally a year of practice to stop this kind of intrusion. No, there was no spirit, only like bubbling nightmares that eventually faded and I gained better control.
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It sounds sort of OCD-like to me. I am not saying you have OCD, but your mind is doing something similar here. It might help to change up how you visualize shielding so that you don’t have to worry about closing your bubble. I would get rid of the bubble image entirely and imagine standing in an orange violet flame that’s burning off any energies which might stick to you. You don’t have to close the flame, just step into it. Don’t worry if you have an arm or leg sticking out—it will be impossible for energy you don’t want to settle so near your flame. I think you could try the same visualization to cauterize cords as well. I like it because you don’t have to visualize specific cords (and then get stuck in a thought-loop imagining them reattaching). Your fire will incinerate them all.
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It makes me think an entity is psychically messing with you. Pay attention to all of your thoughts very closely. Ask your spirit guides to protect you from all lower vibrational energies.
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Have you done any shadow work lately? Or has it been a while?
