A story I shared to r/psychic a long time ago that I never got any response to. Please help me understand what happened.

[Neville]

I haven’t thought about spirits or the spirit realm in a long time. I usually try not to think about it. When I really open myself up to it or open up to someone close to me about it (rare) it’s like I suddenly feel very present and hyper aware. I can’t even get the words out.

I cannot directly speak of having a sixth sense/psychic ability. I can type it out here because there’s a level of disconnect… but speaking the words from my mouth fills me with such dread and anxiety I almost feel like there is a force keeping me from doing so. It’s like if I truly speak the words out of my mouth, it will make it all too real and invite forces into my life I don’t want around me.

Even beating around the bush and getting my boyfriend to understand what I was speaking about made it too real. He’s a skeptic, so am I. When I opened up to him about my ability, it was like he started to feel as anxious as I did. I found out he’s a skeptic the same way that I am- we trick ourselves into disbelief. I don’t want to believe because believing is too heavy.

We were on the topic of the “paranormal” (calling it that makes it feel fake). I don’t know why I wanted to open up and share. I think I was just ready to let him in that way. I think it scared me most that through my broken sentences and leading him to what I wanted to share but couldn’t say, he understood. He filled in the empty spaces, he knew. He also seemed to understand why speaking the words myself would be too powerful. His acknowledgement of it made it too real. I knew he was a skeptic so I half expected him to laugh it off or something. But he didn’t, he knew.

EVEN BREATHING LIFE into the topic brought us too near to that realm (Calling it the spirit realm also makes it feel corny and unreal to me). I could feel it, so could he. We both opened up and shared how he knows he has a force that has protected him in his life and I know I have one, too. Its hard to explain.

We got spooked, though. Something wasn’t right and I know it was tied up with me. He could feel it too, he knew it was tied up with me.

We were getting ready for bed and talking about “it”, edging around “it”, the unknown, whatever. I felt like I should have stopped talking about it. He was changing the subject to facing pure hatred within oneself- facing that mental block of letting go of self loathing (we both deal with it), but I kept pressing because I wanted to feel his understanding again, like I wanted to be extra sure, I wanted to conclude? I dont know. But the negative aura was growing.

His cats began acting strange!! He noticed it, I noticed it, I was becoming unusually afraid of the dark like I do when I feel too close to beliving in the unknown. My boyfriend became extra serious. He said there’s something going on with me that I have to sort out. It was like he started to protect himself- like I was going to bring in something negative, worldly or otherwise.

It was like he felt like I was lying about something or had some dark truth or something dark following me. He asked me if I got hexxed! He doesn’t belive in that stuff, not really, neither do I! But we were talking about it like we did! I got scared, I said no! I don’t think so ..??? Wouldn’t I know? I try to be a champion of love, I dont want to hurt anyone or warrant negativity from anyone, I hope no one would hex me.

At one point he even asked me if I had the devil following me! I said no! Neither of us are religious like that! But I could tell his question had a double meaning- like he was asking if I messed with some bad things I had no business messing with- worldly or otherwise. But I haven’t, I’m not keeping a secret from him and I’ve never messed with a ouija board or ANYTHING like that.

My boyfriend kept saying the cats were being strange, that they didn’t even look like themselves. He has two, one of which is a black cat- Bear. When we made it to bed, Bear was ALERT, he kept looking around and was tense, he was at attention. My boyfriend said Bear was doing his job, he said “see he’s chasing spirits into corners”!!! I pet Bear and said that every house should have a cat and he said “especially a black one.”

I was just so surprised to hear those things come out of his mouth. I didn’t want him to believe me anymore.

I knew then that I really shouldn’t have opened my heart to this stuff again and I really tried to focus on my breathing and keep love in my heart against my ever growing fear and the feeling of mistrust I felt from my boyfriend. It seemed like he was worried I was going to pass something off to him (he has bad luck already).

We turned the lights off and I big spooned him like I normally do but I really clung to him like I was trying to make him feel my love and protect him. He asked me if I was on some witchcraft shit and I said NO! I stated aloud I do not welcome that into my life and want nothing to do with it but he responded saying it felt like I was holding onto some information!!! I really tried to make him understand that I wasn’t playing games or lying and wanted none of it but even vocalizing that something strange was happening felt like a bad idea. It was like the more we spoke of it, the more reality it was given.

I told him I loved him and he hesitated for a while. He told me he loved me too but that I was weirding him out. I resorted to just telling him to pay no mind to any of what we talked about and just remember life and the good. I was scared as fuck. I kept my thoughts on love and sending merit to all sentient beings like I used to do when I was practicing meditation and buddhism. My boyfriend quickly feel asleep.. it helped, but not enough. I knew it would be a long night for me. I hardly slept at all that night. I was just waiting for the sun to come up. As soon as it did, I felt free of it all once again.

Now it’s morning, I’m less afraid, but I’m confused. My boyfriend went to work and we hardly mentioned it aside from us agreeing “we didn’t talk about it”. I feel like I’m not done with it, though. Should I talk about it with him? Should we acknowledge the power of words we felt? How our words and the belief behind them brought us close to forces we don’t want to understand? Does anyone else know what I’m talking about? Has anyone else experienced something like this ?? Please help me understand.

** This happened a couple months ago and I copy and pasted what I wrote. I did bring it up with my boyfriend again and he admitted that he felt it. He said it was evil. I agreed. We also agreed to just forget about it. I still wonder if it really was evil or if we were just afraid. I don’t know if it was one entity or many. I still wonder.

Discussion

[RicottaPuffs]

Ot sounds like you guys felt a presence you did jnot like. There isn’t more to 7nderstand. Really. It is gone.

It isn’t there, anymore.

Why dwell on it?

[flipside888]

The mind is a powerful thing, especially when very strong emotions like fear are directing it . Pretend you know with certainty that the spirit realm exist. So what? You’re not in it and you don’t have to entertain it or even think about it. The fact that you ARE however, shows that you’re curious. Human beings wouldn’t have figured anything out if they weren’t curious. Again, you can decide what you seek or do not seek to understand. Sounds like you’re stuck in the fear of the possibility. Possiblity of what? That dead people can be conscious beings? Oh well …we all die someday. Do you imagine you’ll be something to be feared by the “living” when you’re on the other side? (assuming it exists). Evil forces? Oh well again! No need to entertain it or invite it by sending out that fear. Consider going back to meditation, do some guided ones about grounding yourself, aligning your energy, letting go of fear, being in touch with higher self and/or spirit guides with the intention of doing so with your greatest and highest good in mind. See where that takes you.

[SpiritedPlaces]

You may not have gotten a response because that is a big wall of text and a lot to unpack. I get the hesitation because I was fearful to share a lot of my psychic experiences at first with the man who is now my husband. The awareness of the spirit world and feeling like there is ‘something’ around but you can’t tell what is the beginning of perception. Everyone is born with intuition and the ability to tap in if they could just slow down or if everyone was raised to know these extra senses exist and are normal. I also understand not wanting to accept that you might perceive of non-corporeal beings because does that also mean you have to accept every type that others believe in, including the negative and demonic type entities? I really didn’t want to accept that could be a possibility either. I’ve experienced both energetic imprints and active spirits of deceased humans, angelic energy, even ET’s. I have yet to experience demonic energy. Dark energy from humans, violence, mental illness, hatred, yes. But not demons. Does that mean they don’t exist? No. However if there’s one l thing I’ve learned it’s that fear of them (any negative/evil energy whether they were once human or not) will attract them and feed them. You have to get your energetic protections right, your spirit team right, and know that you are the boss. You aren’t scared of them. You’re the living one, you’re a divine being, and you have the power. They ain’t got shit on you.
Society/the media seeds a lot of fear into the paranormal and witchcraft and most of what you see in TV/videos/movies is utter bullshit. But it’s reasonable the two of you would feel uncomfortable discussing/thinking about it. Maybe if the two of you did some research together about what psychic abilities/mediumship/witchcraft actually is (be careful because there’s a lot of misinformation on the internet), it might relieve some of that fear and open up the door to honest communication about your beliefs and experiences.

[RUmysoupsnake]

I’m going to be really honest with you; I don’t like the vibes your boyfriend is giving off. I think this has less to do with you and more with your relationship. I don’t like to throw this word around but it sounds like he was gaslighting you. What I mean by that is that he was making you question yourself in such a way that you thought something was wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not hexed. You are not bad or filled with anything bad. He hesitated before saying I love you back. Even when you tried to explain yourself more clearly he insisted that you were lying or hiding something. This is not supportive behavior. I think it is normal to feel fear from the unknown,and sometimes our own feelings can be scary, but your partner should be a source of comfort and somebody that you can talk to not somebody who tries to turn the situation around on you and make you feel worse. I think you need to really think about this relationship and why you don’t feel like you can express these things out loud. Maybe your heart is trying to tell you something. Listen to it.

[AnastasiaRomani]

First of all let me say that, as an experienced practitioner of Ancestral magic, there are some key things in but you are describing that are typical of patterns that occur in specific situations.

**You aren’t crazy.**

The language that you use, particularly **”breathing life into the magic** by talking about it,” indicates Ancestral magic. It is not particularly something that is spoken of, but for people who are of certain magical bloodlines, the proximity of another person with strong magic in their bloodline will provoke the latent bloodline magic to come to surface, where it is harder to ignore.

For these individuals, they typically experience a strong fear to the point of dissociation about their own gifts, this is due to the fact that hereditary magic comes with a certain level of hereditary memory, and one of those memories is a taboo around speaking about once gifts or practice because of the risk of being killed, frankly.

This type of distancing can occur over the span of multiple generations as it has become more dangerous to practice and basic understanding of one’s nature has not been normalized by seeing other family members practice or by being trained by them.

I do not trust your boyfriend and what I am seeing here, with the behavior of the cats. What do you are calling “dancing around the subject” or “beating around the bush” or that “you didn’t know how that you opened up and shared” all sounds like information gathering to me… Even his “skepticism” sounds to me like a subtle ruse to trick you into spilling your secrets… Were they fully reciprocated?

The cats clearly are his protectors.

It was not until your “psychic awareness” (for lack of better language) rose within you, that your boyfriend became uneasy and his cats began “protecting him” by “chasing spirits into the corners.”

In fact, you had already indicated that there was “someone” who was watching and protecting you, even to the point of his asking you if you “had a devil following you.”

I am convinced that there was a double meaning involved in that, just as you said oh, but I do not think it had anything to do with Ouija boards, but Ancestral protectors.

Why would he have an issue with you being protected? That should not make him feel uneasy in the least, unless he has some nefarious agenda.

By the way, it does not sound appear from what you’ve written that the cats had a particular concern about you, just that they were alert to something in the room.

This could happen because of an increase in psychic vibration or because you are experiencing a visitation worried you are being protected.

it also does not appear from what you have written that the cats are stressed in any way, only alert. Any other attributes that they may have taken we’re all vocalized by him but not necessarily occurring.

“This stuff,” they are talking about having “open your heart to” it’s not something that is evil but an expression that extends from one’s own heart. Are you evil? Probably not.

This means closing your heart to “this stuff” is closing your hearts to yourself, and probably the route of some of your self-loathing.

Why should your boyfriend mistrust you for having a full heart? Is it a balance of power issue?

the fear you are experiencing was not your own, but that of your boyfriend, which you empathetically absorbed as your own.

This tells me something more about you, that you have the ability to both send and receive energy, even if that ability is not developed.

In receiving energy, we can become quite distressed and it is typical for those of us with empathic natures to become stuck within ourselves and to avoid groups because of the discharged energy that we absorb and experience as our own.

The opposite of that is that certain types of people who are on the other Spectrum of empathy have the ability to drain us of our energy, either physical emotional or psychic.

These types of people are commonly called, **”energy vampires.”**

I suspect that your boyfriend is an energy vampire.

It’s interesting that you turned off the lights and big spoon him, trying to make him feel your love and protect him; this is you extending emotional and psychic energy **to him** from within yourself.

This type of relationship dynamic, where one person is responsible for the other emotional well being, that they will he’s their empathic abilities to “send” them energy to support their well-being.

This is one-sided grace.

His entire attitude towards you, “asking you if you are on some witchcraft s***” and accusing you of “withholding information”is creepy.

**This is the behavior of someone who does not want to lose power over their battery because their battery has discovered their power.**

Everything about his conduct is about squelching your self-awareness in your power… From refusing to answer you when you told him you left him to his finally having enough peace to fall asleep when you shifted your mental environment to meditation and Buddhism, away from your gifts.

Likely this experience occurred because of the thin veil related to Samhain/Halloween, but you will notice if you were to look at it, that after you wrapped your body around his and empathically sent him peace and healing… After you had spent a whole evening of your own psychic resources being rerouted to him… That you felt empty of it when you woke.

**Of course you were empty of it. He drained you entirely.**

This type of “walking on eggshells” aftermath is typical of abusers after an event climax. And spiritual / psychic abuse, the cycle mirrors that of typical relationship abuse.

The less you are able to talk about it, the less likely you are to have any sort of resolution or understanding and he holds all the cards. I would seriously recommend that you use caution and discretion around him and observe his behavior and consider ending the relationship.