Afraid of opening the door to deeper spirituality, asking for guidance

[Neville]

Hello everyone, I have become a significantly more spiritual person since nearly dying from alcoholism at the end of 2019. After that experience, I have begun to believe more than ever that things happen for a reason, and I believe that I’m still here for a reason that I don’t yet fully understand.

I’m trying to open myself up to communicating with spirits, spiritual guides, and allowing my empathy and compassion to channel into helping people on a deeper level.

I’ve always been a very empathetic person, and I have a mantra I tell myself everyday to do better, be better, and do the right thing. I have a sense of purpose within me now to pay forward the experiences I had with alcohol and it almost taking my life. I want to help people and empower people to work through confront and work through their anxiety, as I have also suffered from PTSD due to traumatic experiences earlier in my life.

I’ve been reconnecting with a friend of mine this past week I’ve known her for a few years and she’s highly spiritual and sensitive. I’m 33 and she’s almost 70, but we used to have incredibly in depth conversations as if we’ve known each other for 100 years, we just have a connection with one another and she has taught me so much about spirituality. We’ve talked before about this, and she has seen things and people, has had visions, is in tune with numerology, and coffee readings. She had told me one time that if I felt any presence that was off, or evil, to envision slamming a door to shut it out.

I asked her last night if she thought that with me no longer literally drowning out everything with alcohol, if I may start seeing or feeling spirits, as I believed that when I was dying at the end of 2019 in the hospital, I saw many spirits – a few of them being the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen or interacted with. She said if I’m asking that question, then probably I already know the answer. She said to envision opening a door, but I’m afraid of this because I don’t want to invite something in that shouldn’t be here, or something evil.

Any advice or guidance here would be so appreciated. My gut and my soul is telling me that this feels right, that I’m here now and need to be open to the reason why I am still here and didn’t die. I’ve been seeing things here and there, a shadow moving across my peripheral, a white face peeking in my bedroom doorway, and at times I’m feeling like something is watching or following me. My dreams have also been so much more vivid lately as well, and complex. I also see the number 223 everywhere, I would say at least 20-30 times a day. My attention or eyes will just be drawn to something and there it is – a license plate, a phone number, anything.

Thank you ahead of time for any guidance or advice you all can give, I appreciate you.

Discussion

[ruledbypluto]

spiritual awakenings are common when getting sober and that’s all i’m gonna say

[Reversephoenix77]

I had a similar experience. I read your comments and saw that you also saw what was presenting as a demon to you in the hospital. I kinda had a similar experience and went to a medium and reiki master years later to have it removed. The experience really scared me and even though I’m in a completely different and better place now I still think about it or wonder if it will come back to have any power over me when I pass. The medium also taught me grounding excercises and excercises for self protection that seem to work well. Maybe something like that would help you too.

I also thought you might like the sub r/NDE. I was reading a guys story of his near death experience from alcohol related DT’s DT’s the other day and it was almost identical to yours.

[nov1946]

Trust your heart where truth and you path are.

[VisiblePin6]

I wouldn’t listen to her. She told you to do exactly what you didn’t want to do. And she may be spiritual but she has no experience with all the vague answers.

I’d just go for the ride. Do you see how numbers just follow you how it’s always there? It’s the same with spirits and such, the same ones are always there. The numbers get worse and experiences get more real but it’s your tolerance that keeps you from going over the deep end. Stay brave.