-
Discussion
-
Today I did a reading, 6 months after my abusive and distant father passed away in the middle of me having moved across the country for uni. I was asking for clearance about how far I've come in moving on and what awaits me. When I was shuffling the cards I suddenly had this thought about only pulling major arcana. Just a random ''this might be an important reading''. So imagine how shocked I was when I got just that! I would love some more experienced readers' perspective on this reading.
Question 1. The part of the path I've completed. The past of this journey (Strength)
I interpret this as my acceptance and journey through these past 6 months of pure struggle. I moved so far away mostly because I was running from a terrible undiagnosed panic disorder and wanted to pretend it didn't ever exist. I managed to run away from all my triggers in the beginning, but when my father passed the panic attacks came back. I felt like my world was breaking apart, I isolated myself for months and was so, so scared. But after a while, I finally took the step to seek professional help and got my panic and general anxiety disorder diagnosed. During these 6 months I managed to face all of my triggers, and the Strength symbolizes me no longer drowning in these fears, but accepting them as a part of me and finally finding the tools within me to live with them. Not fighting them.
Question 2. The part of the path I'm walking right now. The present (The chariot)
The journey I am on right now is to me all about taking action (Chariot) now that I've found the the tools and the self-love and acceptance to do it (Strength). I am far away from being free from my wounded childhood and anxiety, but I am taking more steps than ever and finally know what to do about it. And I want to do something.
Question 3. The goal im fighting/striving for (The fool)
This goal I'm striving towards (The fool) is also very logical to me. My anxiety makes me very calculating and careful towards everything, and an abusive childhood made me grow up very fast, but I've always wanted to do the opposite. The fool is the young and naive person I never got to be, who makes rash and impulsive decisions and is content with having absolutely no clue what awaits them. During my self-work these months I've really changed and started acting super impulsively and been scared that maybe this is doing too much. So I interpret this card telling me that no matter if it is the right or wrong way, it is what I want and what makes me happy.
Question 4. Advice for this path and accomplishing the goal (The hanged man)
The hanged man I feel advices me to keep embodying The Fool, and to not be scared to make mistakes or let go of control. To dare to be content with all of the consequences of my actions and to dare see my Strength and action of the Chariot for what they are; humane, mundane and equally flawed desires. And that's okay.
Question 5. Something I'm scared of but that isn't a real problem (Judgement)
The Judgement I think represents two things. One being my fear of relapsing into panic attacks and the test I'm facing as I'm soon done with therapy and have to stand on my own two feet. The other being the test of my newfound ability to accept rapid change and throwing myself into The Wheel of Fortune, which will be the end result of this chapter of my life.
Question 6. The end result of the path I'm walking on (Wheel of fortune)
This may be the answer I have the hardest time interpreting, probably because I think what the message means heavily depends on how far I've come in embodying the carefree Fool. Also the Hanged man is probably very important for the outcome, representing seeing all problems and ''negative'' situations from different perspectives and thus being neither terrified or happy about them. Just finding peace in what is.
Such an insightful combination of cards! I'm so grateful, really. Do you guys have some thoughts about what this may mean or how you interpret it?
