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    Back in the beginning of the new year, I did my yearly spread as I’ve been doing for the past few years. For my June spread, one fo the cards I got was the death card, and I was always told this card didn’t physically mean death.

    In June, I lost one of my cats in a very unexpected and sudden way. I’m completely shattered and so sad and so angry. I miss him more than I can express.

    And I am searching for answers.

    In my experience with the cards, coincidences don’t typically happen. What do you think about this situation? Why did it happen this way?

    **My interpretation of this spread is:**
    **The Magician upright:** I am powerful, I create my inner world, and the outer will follow. To become the best version of myself and harness the magic to make the world I desire.

    **Knight of Cups reversed:** That I allow my emotions to control my life more than I should. Possibly to the point of actual incapacity to take action. Don’t jump to conclusions too fast and don’t make judgements without having the necessary information.

    The card can indicate a situation which could be considered appealing at first but quickly turns out to be something very different. With such high expectations, everyone will walk away quite disappointed.

    **Death upright:** Signals that one major phase in my life is ending, and a new one is going to start. I just need to close one door, so the new one will open. The past needs to be placed behind me, so I can focus my energy on what is ahead of me.

    I am going to go through a major change, transition, or transformation. The old version of you needs to ‘die’ to allow the new me to be created. This can be a scary time because of the uncertainty of what will happen in the future. Even being scared, I should welcome the change because I am opening the door to new life events.

    Death can also mean that I need to let go of any unhealthy attachments that I have in my life. This is an important part of life, so learning to keep moving forward is one of the lessons Death teaches us.


    I also use Lenormand. Those 3 cards below the tarot.

    **Which reads:**
    **Birchrod:** an indicator of conflict, of arguments and aggression. Usually, this card will indicate some kind of verbal disagreement, but can also stand for abuse of a physical kind too.

    **Bear:** Power and strength are represented by the Bear, either for positive reasons, such as when a mother bear is protective of her cubs, or for selfish reasons.

    **Lilies:** it can either signal all things associated with sex, pleasure, and material and bodily comfort or it can signal virtue, purity, and morality. On one hand, it represents the side of life that experiences everything through our senses – touch, smell, taste particularly, and the enjoyment of all those things. It represents intense experiences that we have through our bodies, and feeling rooted and grounded within them. On the other hand, the lily is rather ethereal – we find her representing all that is virtuous and good – mercy, justice, kindness, as well as pure intentions and a pure heart


    So, I was expecting a life change but not death. With two Major Arcanas uprights talking about making my own world as I desire, which I try to do every day, and a transformation coming (I recently quit drinking). I LOVE my home and my family, everything felt safe here. Now, there is a huge void in my life and I am so full of despair, I don’t know what to believe anymore.

    I was also expecting some intensity with either my intimate relationship or with work. The Brichrod, Bear, and Lilies together signify a possibly abuse of power. There was conflict at my work during June that fits this lineup. My intimate relationship is fine.

    \*Tarot desk is Labyrinthos Golden Thread Tarot Deck\*

    \*Lenormand deck is Blue Bird Lenormand\*


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