Grief spread interpretation. Top 3: what can I do to help myself during this time. Middle 3: was loved one ready to pass. Bottom 3: how can I honor loved one/message for me. Done in regard to cousin who died by suicide (hanging) more details in comment, appreciate the help.

[Maverick]

Grief spread interpretation. Top 3: what can I do to help myself during this time. Middle 3: was loved one ready to pass. Bottom 3: how can I honor loved one/message for me. Done in regard to cousin who died by suicide (hanging) more details in comment, appreciate the help.

Discussion

[LunaEmpress]

This is a very poignant spread and I am very sorry for your loss.

The top 3 – The lovers could be telling you to practice some self care, be kind to yourself and to others during this difficult time. I think your other interpretations are good. You need LOVE.

Middle 3 – page of cups could simply be signifying that he was young, especially emotionally. Judgement would signify to me that he was ready too. The 2 of swords could signify that he could see no way out and felt like this was his only choice?

3rd row – this is the 8 of swords not the 7. It’s a strong message of making sure you or anyone else do not feel or allow this situation to victimise you, eventually you will need to move that blindfold of grief to move forward with your life. (Sorry if that sounds blunt or insensitive). Death and Hanged Man are pretty self explanatory here.

A very strong spread with clear messages, you have connected extremely well to your deck here. Wishing you all the best and once again my condolences x

[daddydre]

The deck used is the standard Raider Waite deck. I did this spread on my cousins 24th birthday (Feb1) and we were very close being only one month apart in age. I was aware of his suicidal ideation but of course never expected this. He commit suicide by hanging in 2018 at age 21.

My interpretation:
Top 3 (what I can do to help myself during this time)
1. The Lovers (establish bonds and connections with people close to me?),
2. 9 of Cups (wish fulfillment, be content with how things are)
3. the moon (this is my birth card and I have a tattoo of a moon that Is in recognition of him (I’m interpreting this as being Unafraid of the darkness, finding direction.

Middle 3 (was loved one ready to pass)
1. page of cups (express empathy, forgive yourself)
2. judgement (rebirth, inner calling, suggests he was ready?)
3. 2 of swords (blocking emotions, avoiding truth, stalemate: appears when you are not willing to accept some truth about yourself l – confused on what this meaning is in relation to the question of readiness to pass),

Bottom 3 (what can I do I honor them/do they have message for me)
1. 8 of Swords (victimization?)
2. Death – one of most significant cards id like help interpreting for this spread. I’m not sure if this means the best way to honor him is through accepting the permanent end or if it’s more of a message to me.
3. Hanged Man – this is also a very difficult one for me to interpret in this spread – perhaps suggesting I “let go” of him finally, or maybe that he “won” by surrendering

Either way, I found the fact that there are 5 major archana in this spread of 9 to be significant. Additionally, I can’t seem to get over or accept coincidence that I got both “death” and “hanged man” as cards next to each other given the nature of how my cousin died. This spread was very emotional for me and I’m having a hard time fully understanding the meaning. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

[electriclobster]

This is quite a profound spread! I am so sorry for your loss.

I think your interpretation of the moon is beautiful in this. Traditionally, it has to do with fear, uncertainty and illusions, which can also apply here. The top three signal to me that you should look for support from loved ones, take time to appreciate the things in your life that you’re grateful for and don’t fall prey to the dark thoughts.

The middle row has the 2 of swords which is a decision. To me, this suggests that deciding to end their life wasn’t something that was taken lightly, but weighed heavily. Judgement pops up a lot during a decision as well, like when someone is on the precipice of a spiritual awakening. The Page of Cups can mean a young person, but pages also can refer to intuition, study or learning. This all suggest to me that your cousin was ready to pass. They thought this through, debated and looked at it from every angle. It wasn’t just an emotional decision, but an intellectual and intuitive one as well.

The death and hanged man are interesting together. Both suggest change. Death is a card of inevitable change and the hanged man can mean a change of perspective. Releasing old ways of thinking to find a greater truth. Also showing up with the 8 of swords, to me that is a clear message that you need to look at the situation in a new way to find release. Step away from the cage of grief, accept the inevitable change and try and look at this tragedy in a new light. Specifically with the question of “how can I honor the loved one/what is the message?” I think these three cards are a message to let go and live your life fully without feeling any guilt.

There is A LOT going on with this spread, and many ways to view it. Thank you for sharing something so personal, it was very poignant. I lost my brother recently and I never thought to do a reading about it. So this is inspiring.

[NoPalpitation6]

I am sorry for your loss. I’ve been using the cards to help me deal with my recent grief, and it’s been so healing. I think this is a lovely spread, with really thoughtful questions.

For your top three I agree with your interpretation of keeping close bonds nearby right now, I think cultivating a spirit of gratefulness for life will be helpful, with the Moon reminding you of the impermanent nature of life and reality and our bonds with each other. It is natural for life to come and go like the phases of the moon. I also think the connection to your tattoo and your cousin is meaningful, his energy is still with you.

The middle row makes me think that he did truly think he was ready to pass. Whether or not anybody can ever discern whether the time was right is impossible, but the Page of Cups with the two of swords shows great emotional and mental activity, and when those energies are dark and painful, I can see them being overwhelming. I see the Judgment card as the promise that we do not cease to exist with death, and this spread is proof positive, he is living on in your heart and your continued life.

The last question I found so beautiful, how do you honor him? I think you are already honoring him in the way that you are exploring and dealing with your grief in such an honest and healthy way. This is going to hold you in good stead as you carry this love and grief with you throughout your life. I see the Death card as positive, because I think the 8 of swords indicates that you have been feeling held back or trapped in your thoughts and emotions. This card is the message that you can free yourself from this trapped feeling, but you must undergo a change. With Death, you must shed what no longer serves you and embrace what is coming. Death and grief force us to face the chaotic and inevitable nature of the universe. We are pretty powerless to the forces of fate and change, but the Hanged Man is unbothered by this fact. He is serene and balanced in the face of chaos and change. If you can find the ways in which you must “die” then you can transform into someone more in tune with the universe and therefore your cousin’s memory and living spirit.

Thank you so much for sharing. It really has touched me

[_cynically_yours_]

You have really good responses here, and I’ve really nothing to add, except heartfelt empathy. My cousin committed suicide by hanging last month. It was a shock to us all. Like you, I did a spread after he was gone, and I got the Hanged Man in the Rider Waite Smith deck. It was emotional for me too given how he died and that he was also blond like that character in the card. But the overall message was positive. Tarot shakes me like that sometimes though. Anyway, what an incredible spread for such a heartfelt hurt.

[Dolust]

First question : You already know what you need, and even if you didn’t they are people around you that know it. However you are inclined to believe more on your fear than in your one intuition. Allow yourself to be feel and be loved.

Second question : There’s is probably something more to his death that nobody knows. This person had reached an agreement with his/herself that while was not what anyone would desire, it was the best possible outcome for everybody. It seems like this was the best of several bad options but in the end the real reason was that by his/her own choices the available options had been reduced to a few bad ones of which couldn’t pick one. So the choice was not to choose at all but escape. There was some guilt on all this..

Third question: This event and it’s ramifications are having and will have a deep impact in your view of the world. Be ready to learn things that will shock you. But at the same time do not fall in denial. Let the change happen, admit that it was what it was without trying to soften it by twisting it with archive guessing and idealised interpretations. Do not blame it take responsibility because you did as was expected of you. You never knew more because you were not supposed to, some challenges are to be met alone. It was not your choice to make. And finally you need to let go.. Walk your own path, make your own choices, face the consequences, and let others make their own and face them.

[pointedflowers]

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is an incredible spread.

To me the moon signifies emotions taking the center stage. They are usually shrouded in darkness but the moon exposes them. Keep an eye on your internal state and observe your darkest emotions and own them, or they will control you.

In my practice death is unnamed and signifies an end of a cycle. It very directly ties to his death but also if its a message or a desire for change think on what patterns have allowed this to happen. Maybe emotions or other subjects aren’t normally discussed in your family that need to be. Perhaps he was struggling with some type of acceptance, what changes can you make to honor his memory by ending destructive patterns? I don’t think there is any blame here, just that he would like his death to mark the end of them.

Finally to me the hanged man signifies gestation and preparation for a rebirth. I don’t know if you (or I for that matter) believe in reincarnation, but I think it signifies that he still exists in some manifestation that is hidden and still developing; he is just focusing internally on what that development should be, and it is not yet seen. Or that it is time for you to take some time and look inward, focus on yourself and your own rebirth.

It feels to me like the two of you were very close and had quite the real connection, and from these cards it seems evident that the connection is still there, very strong and is still bidirectional.

Again I’m really sorry for your loss and I wish you nothing but the best going forward.

[-Little-Sparrow-]

basic interpretation of this is I think that they were ready to go, and that the best thing you can do right now is to understand that and to move forward with your life the best you can, and to remember your own worth.

[xjulesx21]

i did this spread after my boyfriend passed and it was soo eye opening, I cried happy tears. I hope tarot helps to bring you some closure ????

[raquelmckay]

It’s definitely giving me the message that you need to accept the situation and move on, that your loved one would not want you to wallow for too long. I wish you the best, and please feel free to talk to me if you ever need. Losing a loved one is incredibly hard

[nitwitted_kitten]

My condolences. I don’t know how to read cards, but that third spread is… something I have no words for. Reading the comments is very interesting, and thank you for being brave enough to share this with me.