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Discussion
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Hello lovely people!
I own a business next to a church in downtown Smallburg, USA. My business is at street level and I live in the apartment above my business. My apartment has a \~30 foot balcony that has been proudly hosting a 3 foot banner that says “MY BODY MY CHOICE” with a 10 foot drop down that reads “Your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born, but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. That’s pro-birth, not pro-life.”
Yesterday my husband comes home from work and hands me a business card of the church next door with the name and number of a guy (let’s say Steve) who stopped him outside as he was coming in. Steve asked if my husband owned the building, and he said yes, me and my wife do. Steve asked about the banner, and my husband deferred to me, saying he fully supported my views but is less knowledgeable on the subject. Thus the handing of the business card, and a request from Steve for an open discourse with no animosity on his side, he just wants to understand.
Now, having had the night to think about it, I’m torn. On one hand, I think it’s great that he’s even willing to approach a conversation about an issue he probably feels very strongly about, as do I. I think education is our most powerful tool for softening hearts and changing minds, but I also just don’t understand the point of engaging in this conversation. We are both (probably) very strongly entrenched in our specific views, and I just don’t understand why he doesn’t just Google pro-choice arguments and do his own research rather than speaking to me, unless he thinks he can change my mind. I’m also not the spokesperson for abortion rights just because I have a uterus. I’ve never had an abortion. I’ve never had a child. I’ve never had a miscarriage. I feel wholly unqualified to speak about this (other than being a woman who could be effected), but I also feel compelled to because at least it’s engaging in a conversation about a very important issue.
Thoughts?
ETA: He doesn’t appear to be in any sort of position of power in the church (according to the church’s website), he just had a business card of theirs and wrote his info on it. 🙂
ETA2: He used a business card of the church that promotes the church on one side and their version of an AA meeting/worship hour. That recovery meeting was letting out at the time my husband came home, and this guy is involved with this program as a mentor, but has no official standing in the church. I gathered all of this through overhearing his conversations/watching him interact with people before and after the service. I think he has these business cards to hand out to people who might be interested in the recovery meeting, and jotted his name and number down for my husband to pass along.
Having now spoken with him on the phone he is **not** trying to say he is a representative from the church, that was simply what he had on him to write his number on.
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How do I approach an open dialogue about abortion?
updated 1 year, 9 months ago
2 Members
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I would just say nobody knows about the featus soul. I respect your belief, but it makes me angry and deeply sad that pro births can’t respect anyone else’s belief and feel the need to impose your church opinion without regards for the belief, or individual circumstances and consequences of those involved.
I like to keep it as direct and emotionaless as possible. Name the emotion but express it with some level of control. I find people hear it better.
Then I would listen butake sure to say before I go: I respect your belief, but not imposing it on other people.
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Personally speaking, I would be VERY wary about having a meeting with a man who isn’t even a leader in the church to discuss the banner.
If he isn’t a leader, he has no real authority to discuss it from their perspective, and – sadly – there is a higher risk of him turning out to be potentially dangerous.
I am team “send him a list of existing resources that he could have Googled for himself if he actually wanted to ‘understand’ the situation.”
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I sort of feel like your banners are self-explanatory and fairly thorough. What could be more clear? Did he have a specific question your husband was not able to answer when they spoke?
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Just wanted to butt in to say never underestimate the power of your words. I used to be staunchly pro-life. But over time I had a lot of conversations with people and although I didn’t change my mind immediately, I am now fiercely pro-choice. It’s hard to predict how much impact your words will have down the line.
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I find it interesting he wrote his name on the church’s business card, but is not a church leader or has a formal role given what you said. He likely considers himself a person of influence, and perhaps he is.
Should you decide to chat with him, you may want to clarify up front if he’s speaking for your neighbour (the church) or himself.
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There was an especially awesome post with some salient talking points in this sub the other day. It could help you counter some misinformation, if presented.
Read it here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/vt1tb6/i_am_genuinely_starting_to_realize_something/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/vt1tb6/i_am_genuinely_starting_to_realize_something/)
I am genuinely starting to realize something about most people against reproductive rights.
byu/FlakeyGurl inWitchesVsPatriarchy -
[https://www.tiktok.com/@jack.lawro/video/7113577513179237637?_t=8TWHnACINXa&_r=1](https://www.tiktok.com/@jack.lawro/video/7113577513179237637?_t=8TWHnACINXa&_r=1)
A concise resource for you if needed.
@jack.lawro #roevwade #prochoice #prolife #conservative #christian #abortion #abortionrights #womensrights #supremecourt
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Adam grant’s book “think again” has some excellent lessons on tackling difficult conversations. I know that’s not helpful for the immediate, but I highly recommend it as I took away some key things I have been doing wrong. But it really depends on if you want to be persuasive, or just have a healthy open dialogue, I suppose.
