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Discussion
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I’m in a long distance relationship. I woke up and felt weird about my partner but wondered if I was being paranoid because it was the middle of the night. I pulled the knight of wands for the question “has he cheated on me?”
Some say we can’t read for ourselves. Could I be influencing the card? What would you interpret this card as? I took it as a charmer who is either cheating or looking around. Should I let it go since I did the reading myself? I’m also thinking of asking another tarot reader to do a reading to see what they come up with. What are your thoughts?
Please don’t do the thing where you say “if you can’t trust him, leave him”
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I pulled the knight of wands for infidelity
updated 3 years, 3 months ago 1 Member · 8 Replies
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I’d never be so confident in my tarot readings abilities, that I’d base something like that on tarot. I only ask questions, which leave room for interpretation, since I feel like tarot isn’t meant to be specific
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Not quite “if you can’t trust him, leave him,” but if you’re not mature enough to have these conversations openly and honestly, you should rethink the relationship entirely.
Are you willing to bet the trust built up in your relationship on 1) your deck being able to know the objective truth in the world and 2) your ability to interpret that correctly? If you’re confident in both of those, carry on. If not, then perhaps rethink asking the cards invasive questions about your partner, or other people in general.
A question phrased like this is looking for answers one way or the other. If the cards answered “positively,” would you believe them anyway? You’re already afraid that he’s cheating, and that’s a strong emotion. Now that they’re negative, you’re reinforcing your own doubt before giving your partner a chance to speak for himself, which again, reinforces your paranoia. These things happen, but perhaps consider asking the cards about your emotions, and how you can manage them better. You’ll find that they’re far more suited to helping in that area.
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Listen to your intuition.
And you can definitely read for yourself. I only read for myself. I sometimes involve people in my life into them by asking things like “what does “so and so” think?” or something like that. But I only read for myself
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I’ve always read for myself, but I make a rule to not read about my partner unless I have a clear and level head. when I’m paranoid about my partner or worried about the state of our relationship I almost ALWAYS pull something negative, or look at the results with a negative lens. this is about trust, and if you are having doubts you do need to speak to him. I also want to say I know exactly how you feel, I’m in a long distance relationship too and I have been for over 5 years. it’s difficult to trust someone so wholeheartedly, especially right now when there isn’t much hope of seeing each other soon. please put the cards down for the night, take some deep breaths and talk to him tomorrow. relationship worries and doubts should not be figured out using tarot cards, as tempting as it is. best of luck to you ????
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If the card was upright, the person represented by the card is not engaged in deception. The traits you list are the negative or reversed aspects of that archetype.
The fact that you immediately negated all the positive traits of the card, as well as the person it represents speaks volumes. Trust is an intrinsic part of any relationship and weighs heavier in a LDR because of the separation challenges. My husband went to a year long academic program just 3 years into our marriage. I was home with two babies. The idea that he would cheat on me was laughable, because I knew what we had together and how he felt about it.
What the cards are expressing to you is your doubt, insecurity and fear. Take the cards advice and deal with that. Have that conversation with him. Spend your time alone thinking about what you can do, not what he might be doing. Build yourself up instead of looking to put him down. Your insecurity has nothing to do with him, that’s all on you.
Read again, and instead of a one card midnight anxiety pull for a yes/no answer on what he’s doing behind your back, try reading about yourself. “What can I do to increase my level of trust in others?” “How do I learn to own my sense of value in a relationship?” “What steps can I take to own my own power?” “How do I draw to me someone I can trust?” These are helpful readings. The one you did was not.
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I say follow your gut over what cards are trying to tell you. I think the messages pulled are important but your intuition matters more.
For example, I used to get overwhelmingly positive cards for a person who was absolutely terrible. My intuition said there was something odd here, I even was transparent about my inner thoughts with this person but he just keep insisting I was crazy. Well no, turns out they were the dangerously unstable one.
Going forward, I’ll never question my intuition again. The cards can only do so much and honestly you have to know what kind of questions to ask – its more than “are they cheating”. Its are they aligned to the same vision? How come I feel this inside myself? What can I do to resolve this feeling I have inside? Where do I go from here. Make things about you and the things you can control which is… well you.
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I’ve found that The best way to not let your emotions interfere too much, but not cast them out completely. Practice mindfulness. (not gonna give a whole explanation on mindfulness because I am not qualified haha) Be mindful about how your emotions are effecting you. Try to view them from a point of observation instead of from the point of view that they are leading you or pulling you around. Let them be, don’t discount them, but don’t let them be in control either. Your best self, your center, your self-love and your light should always be in the drivers seat (or at least tryin to be hah) whenever you practice Tarot or other spiritual/meditative activities as a way to guide and help yourself. I hope that makes sense!!
Next thing, communication with your partner is super important here. If I were in your spot I’d ask the cards for ideas on how to proceed with communicating with your partner, because I find it super helpful for me to “prepare” my self before jumping into hard conversations.
I hope this all works out well for you, wishing you peace and joy.
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I don’t believe that tarot can tell us anything that we don’t already know – in my opinion, it can’t tells us the future or look into other people’s heads. If you do practice in that way, my thinking is that you should have a solid understanding of how you think that works, and have strong boundaries around how you use it. Reading in the middle of the night doesn’t seem the best time to try to divine an answer to such a fraught and serious question, and especially not with a single card draw – it might be better to ask the cards how to comfort yourself or what you really need in that moment, and then explore the issue of cheating when you’re feeling more grounded.
As for interpreting the cards, of course you influence the meaning, since it’s you doing the interpretation – unless your belief is that the messages ‘come through’ in some complete sense from an outside party like spirit/the universe/etc. Again, this should be defined by your own robust understanding of how your own psychic or spiritual practice works.
