I think I had a spirit guide breakthrough

[BrumeRaven]

Hey folks,

I honestly just have the urge to tell this someone. It feels surreal. Hard to explain. When I started with meditation, I did some guided visualizations about spirit guides. In one, I saw an ibis which I connect with Thoth. In another, I saw a man in a dark robe giving me a yellow stone.

For some time I thought about what connection I might have with an ibis or Thoth, as egyptian stuff is not exactly my jam. It’s beautiful and cool, but I feel more connect with nordic and Roman stuff. Then it hit me. My first full tarot deck was the Thoth deck by Aleister Crowley. And I thought, what if something is hinting me to get a new deck? I did, I needed one anyway. I didn’t cleanse it, I just started working with it. And it has been a ride.

I started with spreads asking about my spirit guide. Cards that represent him, and what he wants from me, what I should do, why he is here with me.

It was fun at first, but it became kinda eerie. He always represents himself as a man, often an old one with a beard. He’s always the emperor, or hermit, or hidden in other cards (such as the old man in 10 pentacles). He always gives advice regarding money and being diligent and proactive, but in a loving and kind way, giving me hope that I will succeed if I put in the work. He is here to help me through the rather gloomy sword cards.

In the beginning I thought something was wrong with the deck. Maybe I didn’t shuffle it right, maybe some cards were sticking together. How come I always got the same cards, or mostly pentacles with some positive wands?

But no, nothing is wrong with the deck. I keep getting the same answers for the same questions. I keep picking cards that refer to earlier spreads.

And when I don’t ask this specific spirit guide, but instead my dead cat for advice, the cards are completely different. Her cards are cups, temperance, and the last major arcana regarding the sky, and she mentions my grief for her.

I once tried asking my spirit guide his name. Or give me a card that hints at a nickname I can give him, if he doesn’t want to tell me his real name. First card was 10 swords, second was the devil. These felt like “no, not now” and kinda mocking me lol because no way in heck am I gonna call him devil. The next day I tried again, I apologized but I really wanted anything, even if it just stays “old man”. I picked the wheel of fortune, which coincidentally is the only tarot card that I have a nickname for, and I asked him if that’s what he is ok with. Then I drew the 2 swords, which felt like “whatever I don’t care”.

So here I am, kinda baffled. And I just found out my “birth tarot cards” are the sun, the wheel of fortune, and the magician. The sun is what my dead cat wants me to be, the wheel of fortune is… Well, maybe my spirit guide, maybe fortuna which I have a connection to, I think, and did I mention I’m into Odin, who is the magician, same as Thoth… It’s all so weird.

Thank you for reading.

Discussion

[Gildedragon]

So couple things:

Pettily: Thoth was VERY popular among Greeks & Romans. They thought he was Super Duper Great especially when they syncterized him with Hermes/Mercury. (Note: that Tarot itself got called The Book of Thoth from the moment it started being used esoterically; that’s kinda where Crowley cribs the title of his deck from)

Onto more serious talk.
Some praise: seems meditation & visualization was working well to establish contact, why didn’t you keep that up? I myself am not fond of using the tarot for this purpose you are using it (the tarot has its own spirits which can muddle the signal, it’s range of visual expression is rather narrow, & it is very dependant on dialogue between human-cards dialectic to generate meaning; there’s a reason why spiritists prefer more meditative intuitive description & contact) but you seem to be getting solid reads, so :thumbs up:

Now & this more worriedly: What are your warding practices? Like do you cast a circle at all? Purify the space? Take refuge in any protector powers? I’m not saying that cleansing a deck is necesary or not cleansing is bad, but you specifying that you didn’t cleanse it makes me worried about what follows.

Firstly: be aware spirits can lie, even Benefic spirits, & even good ones can play pranks on humans, or shamelessly self agrandize. Blessed few are those that can directly Know the hearts of spirits on sight, most of us have to resort on the slow process of relationship building & double checking & vetting. Usually by calling on a known spirit to triangulate. Though that the advice you’re being given is pragmatic is a good sign. BUT it all being money advice is… a hmm it gives me pause wrt a spirit guide, they’re not financial advisors. They’re more about mutual spiritual advancement. Though given that things are economically prudent it isn’t a huge red flag.

(Pettily: the old man is central to the ♦️10 not at all hidden (they’re on the foreground); but also this tells me you got a RWS-derived one rather than either a Thoth Tarot (Crowley’s) or a Book of Thoth (Eteila’s) which feels uncouth when you felt a *divine* or *Divine* message leading you somewhere)

Now as to the 2 cards to name him by: those are much more worrisome.
♠️10 is known in the Thoth Deck as Ruin, it speaks of destruction, curses, & betrayal; & The Devil -unless doing certain specific type of work- is not a good card to see a “Spirit Guide” describe itself with. Actually I’d say it is in general a good sign to banish & cleanse.

♠️2 is not a “whatever” it’s a more tense card. Note that the woman is blindfolded, hoodwinked. A choice is to be made. A truce with the threat of both sides being able to do violence.
Not something a reputable spirit guide is to say

With all this said: how are you verifying you speak to your cat? Assuming contact is fidedign (you’d previously established contact, vibe feels like cat’s) which cups? Also “last major arcana referencing the sky”… You mean The Sun? Or you mean The World?

Also: birth tarot cards aren’t a thing. Like for one the numbering of some cards changes from deck to deck. & the cards are dynamic in their flow across trumps (hence the whole Fool’s Journey approach to the majors) they as a divinatory tool presupose such a constant transformation of the individual; I’d also ask how are you attributing the cards to these two spirits?

Personally this whole thing gives me some massive red flags, especially if you aren’t warding, dismissing, & cleansing.

& I’m not… I have regularly dealt with Spirits & the Dead for close to a decade now & am a huge proponent of necromancy BUT… this all smells off in a big way.
I want to ask where you got the original meditations, & offer some cleanses.

But I’ll offer some advice: deal with the spectral from within protection & dismiss them regularly; lean on strong reputable benevolent spirits (You like Helleno-Roman stuff: call on your Agathodaimon, on your Genius, on your Lares & Ancestors & such) to protect you from ill intentioned spirits and even then be on your toes.
Heck I’d say start working with ancestors to bolster them BEFORE striking ah such closeness with what is essentially a stranger you half-met online (maybe)

[BroomClosetDenizen]

This was so cool! I love that you ask your cat for help, also. I am lucky enough to still have mine alive, but I should consider asking her for advice sometimes.

I think your findings are coherent and your intuition regarding their interpretation seems pretty on-point (at least, it sounds similar to my own types of interpretation, perhaps I’m biased). I have been having some spirit guide experiences myself lately, so I’m tickled to read that same excitement and near-disbelief in another person’s post.

Also it literally hadn’t occurred to me to find out more about mine via Tarot! So thank you very much for the inspirational nudge!