Is this a message? How can I receive it?

[Nicolina]

TW SUICIDE OF LOVED ONE
I am terrible with how to organize many pieces to these things so apologizing in advance! I’ve really tuning back into myself, since “turning it off” a few years ago. I had made a post here previously about some negative things I was experiencing and why. I’ve been really trying to understand messages that I wasn’t paying attention to previously, specifically that I have aphantasia. EXCEPT I get these random weeks on end where no matter how hard I try I cannot sleep when I close my eyes. For hours, I lose track of the fast passing time, but not enough that I’m “sleeping” I periodically roll over to see the time. And I have images, unclear but there. Which like ???!! I can’t see anything ever no matter how hard I try. I experience the other 3 big clairs regularly. So maybe this is another one trying to come through but I’m not sure because I don’t even experience this on a regular level, let alone an elevated one.
But I was thinking if it is, right now would be a relevant time. I had a very close friend pass of suicide 7 months ago, gunshot wound so he’s probably not crossing over well despite my attempts to help, and his birthday is a week away. Maybe he is trying to send a message to me?
Is there any advice on how I could better receive this message? I obviously practice tarot but I don’t know what kind of spread I would do for this as I usually don’t contact anything I just use it for general divination. I used ouija VERY frequent when I was younger and stopped (also posted about that previously). I believe in capable of channeling whatever it is, I just am not sure where to start.

Discussion

[RicottaPuffs]

You may be pushing too hard. Getting any communication at all with the way you are stressing and not sleeping well is going to be difficult.

There is no reason to believe your friend did not cross over upon his death. Suicide or no suicide. It takes some.longer.to get through their life reviews, but, I feel your friend crossed and that there is this feeling that you are not accepting that.

I don’t think it would be fair to your friend to assume he is stuck,, here. That might be the reason you have not had communication. Your friend is listening to you. He says you are putting your own spin on this, so, you can’t sense him. He had his reasons and he is fine. There is a sense of exasperation on your friend’s part and a sense that he will have to wait until.you are calm enough to listen to spirit.

So. Work on your health. Take care of yourself and whatever clairs you have that are active, will work much better.

Best of journeys to you. I am so sorry for your loss.