just learned that my stepfather is a raging sexist

[lola_rebecca]

I (f18) was cleaning the kitchen and after I finished he went in to the kitchen she stood next to me and told me what a great job I did. That wasn’t the issue, I told him that he should help out sometimes because the workload is to big for me sinds my mothers operation. Than he responded with women belong in the kitchen and that he will never ever clean the toilet etc. Because that’s what women are supposed to do. He also added that he will never ask me to drill a whole in the wall and shit like that because that’s a mens job. I’m a bit pissed of tbh. I’m a closeted lesbian and I was planning on coming out but I’m questioning if that is a good idea or not.

This happen like 5 minutes ago so sorry for this vent-y text and for my spelling errors English is not my native language.

Update:
Yesterday after the incident I told my mother what my stepfather told me and her reaction was pretty unique. She told me that he was right to say all those things because there are mens jobs an women’s job. She is supposed to be my female rolmodel, and she herself claims to be a strong independent non nonsense type of person. This really saddens me deeply. Also this morning I told her that I still was mad at my stepfather to say those thing (he pretends I didn’t happen, I think I deserve an apology tbh, but probably won’t get one). She asked me if I really would think that he was able to clean because of his tallness (he is 2m and like 150 kg). And I told her what if he lived alone would he live in his own filth? She said that he doesn’t live alone so he doesn’t have to worry about thing like that. Than she said that she won’t ever do those manly either things because that’s not how it is supposed to be. She that told me that gender roles are a good thing that people have had for ages and even in her parents relationship. This makes me so sad. They have done and said questionable things in the past but this is absolutely disgusting to me. I’m working this summer to save some money so next year I’ll be able to move away from them. It’s so difficult to live with them because I do love them but the way they think is just so old-fashioned.

Discussion

[tired_dead_broke]

Its unfortunate that this man has such beliefs and that you are a unwilling victim of such words.

In my personal experience, it’s best to move on, like away, from them and still live your life how you want to.

I spent too many years trying to change them and “make them better” to only learn that the person still held those beliefs and only stop talking about them when I was around because I “was annoying”.

I understand the pain you’re feeling and the pain you will feel once you make a decision and all the hopes/dreams lost kicks in.

I’m with you in spirit to support you when you are standing so bravely against this tyranny.

[storagerock]

Guys like him tend to die very quickly after their wife passes on because they’re so clueless about how to handle basic survival skills to keep themselves alive.

[opossumfolk]

I’ve been learning a lot of DIY lately and I finally understand why men like it…it’s less work than cleaning, the lazy bastards.

[M89-90]

Can we take a moment to appreciate that a man who lacks basic life skills told a lesbian that she won’t be drilling any holes . . . Yes I’ve a filthy mind.

OP you’re 18, you’ve all your adult life ahead of you to ignore small minded people and meet like minded. He’s king of a very very very very very very very very small and (since he doesn’t clean) shabby castle. His standard of life will be less without you, yours will not be less without him. And that absolutely is not a reason to stay around, just move on there’s great things ahead of you (like a home you make yourself where you don’t have to clean up after him).

[vampire_velvet]

It’s so funny that the things women are “supposed to do” are daily domestic tasks that every person who lives alone should be able to do. The “manly” tasks are things you do every couple months, if that, and they are things alot of people HIRE SOMEONE TO DO 😅 men are so stupid. You can’t clean? What if there’s not a woman around? You’d die in your own filth and couldn’t even make your own food.

[TheFilthyDIL]

You stepfather is an asshole. I guess I just imagined my father teaching me to use hand tools at 7, power tools at 10, and giving me an electric drill for my 14th birthday. (I asked for one.) The hand-built furniture I see must not exist. All the projects Husband and I have worked on in the last 48+ years have gone *poof!*

[Shadowhunter_15]

Your stepfather would be shocked to learn that I tried sewing a couple times and liked it. I even sewed some pajama pants that I still use.

[younwahh]

Is he drilling holes in the wall every day?

[AdaliaGreyson]

This man is weak and will live in his own filth when you are able to leave and live your best life. My father knows how to sew, laundry, cleaning, cooking, as well as all the classic “manly” chores and hobbies. He was at first confused and unsure about what he could teach a daughter but quickly realized that he could teach me everything he knew. There was no reason for me to not learn as many life skills as he could teach me. That is an example of a good man, not one that sees even his partner as lesser than him.
Don’t worry yourself over his narrow minded dumbass view, man can’t even take care of himself.

[2DragonTats]

And there goes all possible respect you may have had.

Be sure to give your mother extra hugs and love, and go live your life as soon as it’s feasible for you. ( maybe take up a ‘manly’ hobby, to really irk him? )

[Dvine20]

Who are these people’s mothers? That shit would not have flown in my house lol I dare your stepdad to say that to his Mom

[Clean_Ad_5282]

The male family I live with are kinda like this. Very lazy, expect me to clean after them. Honestly, if you make a mess you need to clean it, not always me. Actually, if there’s a mess period, someone needs to clean it and not all the time me smh.

We live in a world where men think they’re rulers but can’t even clean themselves or things properly.

Thankfully I’m moving out to be with my bf who’s a very clean man and kinda a germophobe. Which works with me bc I’m a very clean person and hate germs too.

[Aer0uAntG3alach]

Then I guess he’ll have to starve when there’s no woman at home to make him a sandwich.

[JJvRhyn]

He will never clean a toilet? That’s pathetic, that’s some weak shit. Also, drilling a hole in the wall, is that the best he can do? Sad. My mother thought me to do that in like a minute

Don’t be offended by this asshat, he’s got nothing

[TipsyBaker_]

Then ask him to explain why a lot of top level chefs are men or how any cleaning got done in the military before women enlisted. How did anything get made in ww2 if women can’t manage tools, although there fact he’s still alive means you and mother have managed to deal with him all this time