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Discussion
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So I know this is long but bare with me it’s every detail Gods honest truth keep me in your prayers please I’m still struggling
Okay so on may 20 of last year 2020, I had my worst seizure ever. I haven’t had seizures all my life I got them when I was 20 and I’m 21 now about to be 22 in February. My mother died on may 18 2016 of sickle beta thalassemia one of the worst forms of sickle cell I was a junior in high school and her being a single mother raising four kids and taking care of her grandmother our great grandmother that had dementia all while paying for me to go to catholic school so I didn’t have to stay in the streets of Philadelphia and play football and get a scholarship or whatever but she didn’t want me on the streets.
Me and her were at odds around this time she had just put me out earlier that year because after football season I was still coming in late and being a total dickhead all around and she wasn’t having it. So her birthday was may 8th and she went on a vacation and she came back on the 15th I knew she was home alone because everybody was at their respective place because she was out of town already so I called and offered to come down and have dinner with her my treat. She agreed so I came down we hashed everything out I asked to move back in she of course said no and was proud of me for what I was doing in school.
We talked about everything under the sun and we bonded so well and she told me she had brought ME something back from the vacation I was like really mom like why did u do this and she was like I was thinking of you when I saw these so I grabbed them for you I got all of you gifts Referring to my sibling and me. It was a pair of very expensive shoes and they were magnificent I couldn’t thank her enough. Then she told me she felt like she was about to have a crisis and she was going to go to the hospital if it got worse. I asked her did she want me to stay and she said no go head I’m alright I’ll go if I have to.
I went home thinking ok I know she will go for a fact and my older sister will be home soon (I’m the oldest boy on my moms side) and she had this under control. Everybody goes about they business and that Wednesday may 18th my uncle texted me and said yo have you talked to you mom? I said naw wassup he said I think you should give her a call she not feeling to well. I’m at lunch and this was 6th period i texted her mom are you okay and she texted back NO BUTI WILL BE
8th period I get a call from my sister saying she died at home and I hung up on her in shock then texted her to confirm it and she texted me mom died. I was numb I got up and excused myself from the classroom and as I was walking down the hall my world was just caving in on me. My first instinct was to go to the chapel and pray because that’s what she instilled in us. I said God I don’t know what’s going on but please give me the strength to do whatever it is you need me to and I finished the school year out but I had no idea how I was going to stay there and some people paid my tuition and I could stay for senior year. Senior year I started wildn out popping all types of Xanax and Percocet the lowest point was when I tried to pop 10 Xanax double g pills and commit suicide by overdose without telling anyone. I woke up at the light my foot rested on the brake all cop cars surrounded me they pulled me out of the car looked at my I’d and my school I’d and they said they didn’t want to let another black athlete be a tragedy in Philadelphia they took me home and then dropped my aunts car off at her house and explained what had happened and this is all at 4 in the morning so she’s very startled but by the grace of God I was okay and you would think I would learn!
Fast forward to college I’ve been popping pills drinking lean on a daily while still playing football trying to bury all my problems. I had my first seizure in a car ride home from the college with my dad he wanted me to drive but I told him it didn’t feel right and i had my first seizure 5-10 minutes later. He pulled over did what he had to do because my step mom is epileptic so he knew what to do and he called an ambulance. They diagnosed my first seizure as stress because of no drugs in my system but I knew it was because of them. I kept having them and they gave me medication which I basically ignored and still did my drugs. From here my best friend 19 years old gets killed on the streets over a misunderstanding and then no less than a year later my little cousin who has nothing to do with the streets gets killed in a barber shop shot in the head 15 years old!!!! On top of that my best friends little brother 17 gets shot in the head on a misidentification and dies and this is all in a year time span. Unbelievable but Philadelphia is a terrible city.
Fast forward a year and now I can’t play football so I’m not in school so I’m back to my old ways and I take that back from earlier this was a dark point as well. It was a couple days after my moms passing anniversary I’m living with my aunt and uncle because I can’t live alone The last thing I remember is closing my eyes. uncle hears me having one down here he came down and I was having the absolute worst one I had. So they rush me to the hospital by time I get there I’m still seizing and then I stop, but as I stop I slip into a coma and cease all brain activity and breathing on my own. They then intubate me and they let my family know basically I have 3 days to wake up because they threw everything including the kitchen sink at me.
The next thing I remember was a feeling like I had just dropped onto the hospital bed I ripped my breathing tubes and iv’s out and I was asking for my mom. Now this is where it gets crazy. They ask me do I know what day it is my name and who’s the president I said my name and remembered trump and then they proceeded to tell me I had coded out and then was in a coma for 2 1/2 days with no brain activity. So here’s my recollection i didn’t see my best friend, his little brother or my little cousin but I was sitting on a beach with my mom and it was just us one of the most beautiful places ever watching a sunset over a beautiful red sky and it was a song my mom used to always play in her room. She asked me what was going on with all this pill popping because I didn’t even like popping allergy pills and Tylenol when I was younger. She gave me HELLLLLL. And then we talked about everything that I have done well. and I just woke up and was asking for her. They told me where I was and I couldn’t believe it was a “dream” because I remember it right now like I was there and I did die but I came back, AND WITH NO BRAIN ACTIVITY HOW DID I DREAM THIS AND WHY CAN I REMEMBER IT RIGHT NOW LIKE I WAS THERE I CAN STILL HEAR THE SONG AND HER WORDS TO ME. Everybody had basically written me off they just knew I wasn’t going to wake up and they notified my entire family and said it’s not looking good and That’s when they diagnosed me with epilepsy.
It was good to see and hear my moms voice again and I need to listen to her because I am still popping pills to mask my heartache hurt and pain
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LONG!! Every detail with backstory NDE EPILEPSY COMA FOR 2 1/2 days no brain activity and intubated coded out and then…
updated 3 years, 3 months ago 1 Member · 18 Replies
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I’m just in awe. I’ve got chills…
I’m so sorry you’ve gone through so much. You’re back here and now it’s time to take MUCH better care of yourself. Your job here isn’t done and to me, you coming back, having the memory of what happened, just tells me you have to spread the word. Finish your life right, with love and happiness. Stay away from the drugs, the streets. Find your true calling and go forward with nothing but positivity.
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It took a lot of energy and love to reach out to you. As a mom, please, listen to her. Please stop. Her love is strong and her concern is strong enough to meet you in the in between, you have to. Don’t let it be in vain! Live, make her proud! Be happy! Forgive yourself!
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Where our loved ones go when they pass is their own personal paradise. Things they love and what comforts them. This is only if they’re at peace.
You need to heed your mama’s words. The fact you came here with this, you know what happened was real. Everybody will write you off, but it was real. I had a similar experience with my dad shortly after he passed.
So please, do what she wants you to do. Stop harming yourself, please PLEASE think about what she had told you. No mother, no parent for that matter wants to meet their child too early in paradise.
I truly believe that she helped save you. So don’t let her efforts go to waste.
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Wow. You have been through so much already. I honor all the pain and struggle of your journey. You must be here for great things! You were with your mom and she was talking to you about your potential. I wouldn’t take this lightly. What a gift! If you don’t see/feel her for some time now don’t be alarmed, she will be back in your dreams.
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I am happy you are okay and it sounds like an experience beyond this world. Listen to what your mom had to say and take care of yourself. You have a lot of good energy and belief in you. If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to DM me
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This is what is known as a Near Death Experience (NDE for short)… never forget this and make sure you remember the time spent with your mother… it was REAL.
She was there to make sure you understood it wasn’t your time to go yet, you have more to do still in this lifetime.
Go achieve your goals make your mother proud – she’s still watching over you!
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You’ve been given a gift. Your mom loves you so so so much. There is a reason this happened… you have to turn your life around because you have an important job to do here. Take care of yourself. You have been through so much. My heart goes out to you.
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Boy you better listen to your mama! Lol fr though as a mother of 4 (3 boys 1 girl) I can tell she really cares about you and your well being. If one of my boys had this problem and came to me I’d tell them exactly what your mother told you! And if you need help with overcoming your situation don’t ever think it makes you weak or feel ashamed because of it, even the strongest of people need a helping hand from time to time and I promise your mom would still absolutely be proud of you! I know asking for help is hard.. I’m 30 and this is a lesson I am still learning myself but it’s worth it in the long run I promise ❤️ I know I’m just a stranger on the internet but I love you and believe in you! You’ve got this bud!
P.s. Your mom will be with you every step of the way ☺️ -
You had quite the experience. The only.comment I am.going to make ia this. You are popping.pills, because you want to pop pills. When, you realize that choice is yours, you can work towards better health.
I am glad you came back. You can really inspire.others.
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I’m literally in tears rn after reading your story. It’s hard and I know what it’s like to loose your most important people too… So so so fuking hard. But you absolutely have to Keep your chin up and stay in school. This is so wild, since it was probably the exact message you needed to hear from your mom.
Pls clean yourself up, you came this far in life. Remember You were once a little baby that your mom raised, and struggled for, and grew! Now Imagine watching your little baby destroy them self.. pls stop what you’re doing, you could die or worse, be disabled for life.
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I just want to say I’m so thankful you’re still here. No more pills!!! Listen to your mama and take her words!!
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I’m no expert, but it sounds like you two got to visit with each other. Take care of yourself. <3
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If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
USA: 18002738255
US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOMEUnited Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
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See this as the ultimate wake up call. You made peace with your mom before she died and she found you , whilst you were in a coma, to give you the guidance you need.
This won’t be easy but the best things never are. Get support, this will be too hard to do alone. Find an NA group and start the journey to greatness.
You’ve already made the hardest step by acknowledging that you need to make a change. Follow it through and become the great man your mother knows you can be. Keep us updated with your progress. We want to hear your happy ever after. Sending virtual hugs from the other side of the pond. -
Its time to stop being dumb and live your life the way she would want you too. Start making her proud. But that makes putting away the pills and drugs. Forgive yourself, and stop feeling bad. She’s happy where she is and she’s watching you. Start changing. And get out of philly.
