-
Discussion
-
I hate simplifying parental issues to this level but I’m very curious about possible patterns-
what is your moon sign, what aspects do you have with the 4th and 8th houses, what degree is your moon sign in, do you have strong moon/Saturn aspects or other relevant moon aspects, how would you describe the relationship you have with your mother/maternal figure? lessons learned or personals fears/avoidances?EDIT- currently doing some reading and writing drafts to each comment, this is so interesting thank you to everyone who commented or replied to comments
-
“mommy issues”
updated 2 years, 12 months ago 1 Member · 12 Replies
-
Mine is kind of self explanatory, libra moon 12th house (my mom shares libra moon with me), no precise degree but, my mom was working abroad her whole life. we actually bonded with her while she was abroad and i was abroad for university (age 17). we were super inspired together, noone understands her as i do, and she feels me a lot, but very little mother daughter feeling, almost none, really really none. its even surprising, she is a cancer sun, and she is very not mother figure at all, rather a soul tribe, shared understanding person more lost than me. my 4th house is in aquarius, so my whole family situation was always just, weird and different and foreigners and unusual. but, so am I. I was raised by a grandma since i was 1 yro even younger, she is an amaxing human, a cold scorpio parent… im also a scorpio. what I have learned the biggest, about mommy issues, was to find compassion and not look at my mom as a mother, but rather as a human being who got damaged and used in her own way, and I have the opportunity to see these things in me and her, and even help her. and, maintain my own care first always, cause you cant be a caretaker for anyone like that. look into the entire family dynamics like a therapist. dont take things personally, take yourself out of equation. theres damage all the way down the line, im sure. generational damage is crazeyyyyy. and then, find compassion and understanding for all, especially for yourself. be like, yeah i got fkd, but watching these people, i understand why. its sad, weird, and i shouldnt forget about personal boundaries ever ever ever for anyone, but, i get it. looks bad. btw, fun show to watch, bojack horseman. funny but goes very deep into family trauma stuff and other trauma also. hope you find your peace too dear!
-
My moon is in Aries in the 3H. It has tight squares to Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, and ASC in the 1H.
My 4H ruler is Mars which sits in the 5H, challenged by my Moon and Mercury.
My Pisces Sun, Venus, and Mercury sit in her 12H, which I feel contributes to our relationship.
I’m an only child, and it was just me and my arrogant mom. I had deeply repressed anger toward my mother for 30 years due to her self-indulgent, materialistic tendencies that put us at risk financially. She constantly lived in the moment to feed her own ego and vanity, spending thousands on luxe holidays, plastic surgery, and not contributing to her future or mine. Naively, I sacrificed my needs and identity to please her. For a while, I even chose the career she wanted for me, in order to feed her greed and vanity. As I got older, I realised she used me for her own purposes, which I foolishly swept under the carpet. She also kept me from building relationships with my family and father in order to keep me loyal to her. Took me ages and was long overdue, but I realised I was constantly stressed because she demanded my attention and tried to manipulate me into ending friendships and relationships. I made the choice to cut her out for both our benefits.
-
I have a Cancer moon in the 11th at 22 degrees. My 4th house cusp is Sagittarius and includes Mars, Uranus & Saturn conjunct at 29 degrees, and Neptune. I have Jupiter in the 8th, trine Saturn/Uranus but squaring the moon.
I’m replying because I do have a tough relationship with my mother and am curious about other’s experiences. The best word I could use to describe my mom is “distant.” We are just very different people and there are a lot of triggers if we ever spend much time together at all.
As for other moon aspects, in the 11th it is trine a 7H Pisces Venus (conjunct NN) and a 3H Scorpio Pluto. I mention this because I do think that to some extent I’ve had to find my sense of “home” in close friends and partnerships.
-
I’ve a Moon conjunct Saturn in Aries. And… The relationship is very tricky. Whole lot of emotional turbulence and inconsistency.
-
I know few people with Moon in 1H which makes them mama boy or mama girl. They end up taking care of their mom until the very end. Hence, they never really leave their mom’s side as they age.
-
My moon is 8th house in taurus. I resented her growing up. now my brothers are gone and i feel obligated to take care of her. it’s really holding me back.
-
My Moon is in Aries in the 2nd house at 27 degrees. I have Moon trine Saturn, Moon trine Uranus, Moon quincunx Mercury, and Moon square Venus. I have a 4th house Jupiter trine 8th house Mercury. My mother was a heavy drug addict. She lived a party and drugs lifestyle when I was a child. She was emotionally absent and we never had a normal parent/child relationship. She had a huge ego and extreme pride. It was worse being a smaller child because she looked down on me a lot more. A lot of “No child is going to tell me what to do” type of stuff. You couldn’t tell her anything. Everything was always someone else’s fault. Her health gradually got really bad and she eventually died of an overdose.
What I’ve learned is that some people are so stubborn they’d rather destroy families, self-destruct, and die than to admit their problems. That and a lot of people complain about their parents. “My parents are so stingy,” “My dad is an asshole,” “I hate my mom.” I just kind of chuckled to myself how so many people take familial relationships for granted and get so upset over insignificant and petty differences. It’s like my friend complaining over the dish her mom made. How awful is it to have parents who are together, a mother who spends time with you, and even cooks for you? I’ll always remember that pumpkin casserole her mother made that my friend refused to eat even though I only saw a photo of it.
-
4H 27° (or 28°, I’m not sure how degrees and degree theory works) Aries Moon in opposition to 10H Scorpio Chiron, forming a T-square with Capricorn Asc, 1H Capricorn Neptune, 1H Aquarius Mercury, Jupiter and Uranus, also a sextile to 2H Aquarius Sun and trine 8H Leo Lilith. My 3H Aries Saturn don’t make any aspects to my Moon, but it’s at 5° of my south node and in opposition to 9H Libra Mars (also at 5° of my north node).
The relationship with my mother is very inconsistent a kinda cold (she’s Sagittarius Asc, Capricorn Sun and Aquarius Moon). Growing up, I always felt like I had to be strong and take care of her emotionally, I had to become an adult and deal with grown up preoccupations because she couldn’t or she barely could. At the same time, I felt this obligation to be the perfect daughter, so everyone could praise her for being such an amazing single mother capable of raising a model little girl. As I grew older, this became impossible to sustain.
She was there, but she wasn’t there for me, she couldn’t deal with my emotional needs so, instead of taking charge of her inability and help me in some other way, she negated them as if they don’t exist. Expressing too much happiness, it’s inappropriate; felling sad, it’s pointless and shows your weaknesses; showing anger, it’s aggressive. I grew up frustrated with myself.
Now as an adult, I’m trying very hard to work on this with her. It’s very difficult because she victimizes herself to make me stop from showing her that she’s just human, that makes mistakes and that, as a responsable adult, she should accept this. I understand her situation, I’m not resentful against her, but I’m hurt and I want to have a good relationship with my mother.
-
I chose to go no contact with my mother almost a decade ago. Very distant relationship that became more toxic over time. Never felt any motherly affection from her but she got along fine with my sisters. Our relationship has affected me deeply even though I don’t talk to her anymore. My Aquarius moon is in 8th, square sun, square mercury and square pluto.
-
7th house Moon opposite Pluto 1st.
Taurus Moon 9 degrees.
Saturn in ScorpioIt’s weird but I’ve always felt the need to “help” my Cancer Sun mother who plays out a role of constant victimization. She related to motherhood in a negative and unhappy way. Often complaining about how she was forced to “do” everything for everyone and no one did things for her. Capricorn moon. Lots of generational drama. Looking back she likely suffered from depression and spent lots of time in an isolated bedroom, with not much real interaction with the family due to always suffering from some kind of subjective illness or fatigue. Private little Cancer shell.
I never realized how traumatic this childhood experience was for me and how emotionally it colored nearly every relationship after it. To be viewed as a burden or a problem for coming into existence, and that your positive worth is directly related to how few your needs are, how little effort you require, and what you can do to benefit others.
I would have sworn that I had the most innocent and sweet mother ever who tried her very best with the tools she had. I’ve always been defensive and protective of her. My mother and I have a definite role reversal, since I assumed the identity of “responsible caretaker golden child.”
As an adult I’ve often helped support her financially, even though I have a family of my own and she is able bodied. It bordered on manipulation. The dynamic is that I must reward her with money or gifts if she visits or spends time with me. I must initiate every single interaction and all communication and consistently “check on her” to offer her help or she feels neglected.
I have (Aquarius) sun, mercury, Jupiter, in 4th house. Empty 5th.
Recently I met a guy who had the same sun, rising, Mercury, Mars as my mother, but he had a Leo moon. We had crazy 8th house composite stuff. I’ve got Chiron and North Node in the 8th. It was hot af and the sex was unlike any other experience I’ve ever had. It wasn’t until this relationship that I began to understand and have access to the patterns I have in my most intimate connections I was not previously aware of. I believe I met someone who was so similar in placements to my mother, in order to heal wounds I never realized I had.
I’m desperately attracted to wounded people, who straight up ignore me. Emotionally unavailable people are my jam. Astrology absolutely helped me to realize this and to start to attract healthy relationships that do not resemble the unhealthy one I’m working on with my mother.
-
One of (the many) indicators that has shown up in charts of my friends and loved ones that I’ve seen the ruler of the 4th house in the 6th or 12th indicating especially painful dynamics with one’s parents. My father has the ruler of the 4th in the twelfth and his father was terribly abusive, particularly towards him (given the 12th house significance of enemies that tracks). A friend of mine has the ruler of the 4th in the 6th and was basically treated by her parents as a servant (6th house rules slavery and servitude traditionally) and had a fairly willful ignorance of her needs as an individual. There are so many different doctrines and techniques that indicate parental dynamics.
-
8th house moon in Taurus, moon opp Saturn (2nd house) 0 degrees. 4th house Jupiter, jupiter square pluto (2nd house) 0 degrees.
Controlling, manipulative relationship growing up, where she never wanted to see me succeed. Insulting, rude, and very mean things said all my life. Now, the dynamics are changing as she is aging and in need of her only daughter. Ive never forgotten ALL the times I was treated terribly, the times I needed a mother and she selfishly was only concerned with herself and no one else. I find it all rather ironic that I’m the one in control now of the dynamic of the relationship.
Mother is a leo sun, aries moon. Don’t know any specifics beyond that.
