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Discussion
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Crossposting this with /r/meditation because I honestly don't know the best sub to put this in.
Today I decided to attend a Theravada Buddhist dhamma talk and meditation for the first time. My main goal was to learn how to meditate because I've never done it before (at least in an organized way, I think), and I feel like it would really help me with my current grief, anxiety, and attention issues among other things.
The focus of the meditation today was on our senses. I shut off the lights with just the computer screen on. I sat in my office chair clasping my hands and very still. I cleared my mind, and I allowed the monk to guide me through my senses starting with touch (which was the first ~85% of the guiding). I started at the top of the head and my hair felt very heavy. Gradually went down my body taking mental notes of what I was feeling whether it was the air, my shirt, the seat, etc. Then we came back up a bit faster. When I reached my head my hair no longer felt like it was there. Then I spent time noting again my overall body touching sensations including inside my body. Then we went to what we were hearing, tasting, and seeing (with eyes closed).
When we got to the seeing part is when my mind started to wander (or maybe my mind was open?) I started seeing shapes, colors, etc. for a bit which transitioned to infinite bars…first horizontal and dark, then vertical and bright. Eventually everything was bright white and I saw a white woman with dark hair and four arms. Shortly after her my touch sensation arose and it felt like someone put their hand on my left shoulder. I then saw ripples of shifting sand which led to…my dog who recently passed appearing on my right. His face turned into a dog head shadow that then mirrored on my left. As this happened, the hand on my shoulder turned into a grasping/leaning feeling on my left upper arm and shoulder. His shadow cemented itself on my left for most of the rest of the meditation. This felt like he was telling me that as I was his guide on walks to his left, he is my guide now on my left. I basically stayed like this for a while and felt myself smile several times as I reminisced about things. The shifting sands appeared again, and as they did I felt like my body was vibrating in waves like the ripples in the sands. Soon after, a wheel appears that looks galactic in nature (like a wheel of stars) turning counterclockwise. It's at this time I know the meditation is coming to an end. I say goodbye to my dog and an "exit slide" (like a kids' slide) appears, and I exit through that. Then pausing for a bit before opening my eyes.
I know this is probably not exactly what the Buddhist method of meditation was directing me to, but it is what I experienced in this meditation. What exactly did I experience? I feel much more at peace and relaxed after the meditation, but also full of questions.
Also, if anyone thinks this would be better in a different sub, let me know.
Thank you.
