new to tarot, pulled death card, cried happy tears

[Jessica]

tarot has reached out to me for years. i finally bought the rider waite deck and began practicing on myself, my friends, anything to familiarize me with my cards. i’ll be honest, i was scared to practice on myself! i could tell anyone else that they’re not fortune tellers but couldn’t take my own advice. i was so scared of pulling the tower or death and just losing it lol. finally i felt like i was friends with my deck, learning, communicating clearly, and receiving concrete, mind blowing readings and answers. i felt comfortable to ask it a question. i said “what is blocking me right now?” and pulled the reversed death card. as i read through the (biddytarot) definition of it i burst into tears. i’ve struggled with severe anxiety my entire life. i recently got into spirituality, witchcraft, kundalini yoga, chakra exercises, the whole nine yards. i also finally started medication for my anxiety. i felt amazing. but i could feel a strong block that was causing old patterns to return. i cried to my roommate last night and sobbed asking the universe what the answer was. what could align me? what was that missing piece? what was i so afraid of? why? why me? since that conversation i felt like i was hearing the word death every hour, it was catching my attention more than ever before. i had this gut feeling that something big was going to be associated with death and i couldn’t understand when and why. i felt a strong pull to read my cards before bed and every single gap was filled in within thirty seconds of my first conversation with my deck. i know this is the right step and i’m so grateful for this new experience.

Discussion

[shth0mas]

I feel like it’s been reaching for me too. Thanks for articulating something I’ve been struggling with.