Self-h4te… Kinda like venting….

[Neville]

Hey guys … Long story short: I used to excel at _self love_ once, but as I’m currently finding out more about me, after I’ve noticed some things going wrong in my life I decided to ask some questions to the other side… Summing-up: I discovered that I’m in a karmic incarnation…. Everything was so colourful once.. but now I guess I’m paying for all the harm I did to others…

After I found out the many things about evil and negative stuff I did and do, I start purging what I could… But now I just feel disgust of myself…. I’m having trouble eating, I even lost weight, and often I want to throw up… Having strong headaches, occasional pain in the stomach, weakness…. But I need to see how bad-blooded I am… This is hurting, but I need to accept that I’m despicable and how baneful I am….

Yes, went to the doctor, there was nothing, so it’s all effects of the process I myself started … Just need to deal with it..

I am doing some self-hypnosis, to make me believe I’m far from a good person, and to make me see all the negativity onto me…. I need to have more forces to go through it…

Sorry, just needed to vent… Wish me luck, if you will…

Edit: I’ve taken a glass of water this morning, and I couldn’t believe how good the taste was…. I know it’s not of anyone’s business… I guess I need a diary

Discussion

[ZenGinGin]

I don’t know, darling. If you are that hellbent on exposing your own truths, you can’t be that despicable or baneful. Remember we are all spirit looking through different points of view, so please don’t hate yourself…just be curious.

[Craner12q]

Who is more spiritually aware and advancing in the spiritual world??? The person who thinks and does negative thought and deeds and does not know they are doing this, so does not reflect upon and try to increase the positive thoughts and deeds? Or. The person who thinks and does negative thought and deeds and know they are doing this, reflect upon and try to increase the positive thoughts and deeds? Reflection and trying to improve ourselves is key, we can not learn and advance spiritually if we are not given tests. These tests are never harder then we can handle. But we will get the same test over and over until we conquer it and doing the positive has become so indelible on our spirit that it becomes unthinkable to do otherwise.

[lostphilosopherx]

This made me feel sad reading this, although, I have felt it myself, and still do at times…

Just remind yourself of this: you are a good person because you have a conscience. Proof that you have a conscience is that you are even dwelling on this matter.

There are so many worse people in this world, who don’t think twice about who they hurt or the consequences of their actions.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, and don’t deny yourself of the good life (in this life) that you deserve.

Sending positive energy ⚡

[DarkMoon-7]

Guys, did anyone pray for me or anything?

I’ve felt better since 40min ago..

[Craner12q]

https://bahaiteachings.org/karma-golden-rule-newtons-third-law/
https://bahaiteachings.org/forgive-myself-for-things-ive-done/
I wanted to give you something to help you with how you are feeling but did not want to just spout platitudes that mean nothing and will not help. I found these two articles that may help you see through the mess you feel and start you to heal.

[nietzschetherainbow]

I’m going through the same thing right now, so I feel you on every level. Good luck, be strong, stranger!