The Trouble with Signs. Holding on too Long.

[RicottaPuffs]

We are all so human. We have all been in great grief, even as mediums. Grief is that loss of the ability to have a loved one here in a body. It is the loss of hugs and kisses and touch. It is the grief that they passed in any way in pain or suffering. In love, we do not wish to feel that separation. We want them back.

Mediums can be invaluable in lessening that pain.

Often, we want to see signs that our loved ones have survived bodily death. We want to know that they have crossed. So, we ask for signs.

I do not know if anyone who needs to read this post will actually read it. I hope that they do.

We must all reach a day, an hour or a moment when we stop asking for sign, after sign, after sign. We need to reach that point, a year after, two years after or three years after when we consciously release the soul of the person that we loved so that they can move on, on the other side. We have to out their happiness, first.

Yes. We can impede their progress.

Signs are comforting and wonderful and reassuring. However, there is a line that can be crossed where we demand signs of a soul’s presence to an extreme. When that occurs, it becomes unhealthy.

No one would want their loved one imprisoned in life. Yet, holding them here doing parlor tricks….make the lights flicker, move my keys, make your photograph blink… beyond a certain point is refusing to allow that soul to grow and to be free. In short, we cannot keep our loved ones captive like canaries. We cannot ask them to do tricks for us, forever. Ask yourself if that person would do those things ad nauseum when alive. the answer is, “No”.

We have to be fair. We have to process our grief and come to a place where we love enough to let go. The separation is not permanent.

I know that feeling very well as a daughter and as a mother. I want my loved ones to let me know they are fine. In the beginning of each grief, it is normal to ask for them to let us know they are still with us.

Growth occurs when we can get to the place in our hearts, where our love surpasses our grief, and we stop asking for signs. We stop interpreting every light bulb blowing out and every flower that we smell, or book that we see, as a sign. We can be grateful when they become fewer, and they become more poignant.

We have to let go. We have to allow our grief to wane. We need to develop healthy relationships with the dead, not limiting ones. It is not healthy to hang on without cease at the expense of our deceased person’s freedom.

I often hear adults claim they do not believe in slavery, or servitude. How is it different to want a soul to remain trapped in this dimension? I realized i could not deny my son the freedom to enjoy the Universe and the peace of the afterlife. I could not hold him captive in my heart, as much as I wanted to hold him. That realization was excruciating. It was growth.

I called out for my child for a long time. At a point, he let me know that it was time for me to let him go. I was fortunate to have been given that communication. I released him with my whole heart and with all of the love I feel for him. He does come back. But, he is free to come and go. I am not tying him to myself, with my grief. I hadto let him go with my love.

We cannot reach that place where we recognize that our family and friends and partners have a right to be free, until we understand that we are holding on too hard. Yes. It does impede their transition. It does impede their progress. Now, when I see or hear my child it is with utter joy.

I do not know if this post will help anyone to move forward. I do hope it makes sense to those who need to hear it.

Discussion

[NuwandaM]

Do you think its possible he told u it was time for you to let go, but that you weren’t “holding him back”? That he is always available even tho he moved on? Would this mean that talking to our loved one and writing to them(without asking for signs) would be holding them back too? Just because we ask for signs doesn’t mean we always get them. In fact, we get signs even if we DONT ask. Does this also apply to using mediums for contact? All these things, without asking for signs, would not hold them back in a profound way, in my opinion. If they are available to hear us and speak through mediums, doesn’t mean they are are trapped here. I would think when they feel its time to stop giving signs whenever requested, its another nudge to helping us move forward. At some point, if we truly believe in the signs we’ve been given, then it will eventually be comfort enough for most to just hold the signs in our heart without asking for more. Because we BELIEVE. We believe they still exist, that there’s an afterlife and that we will be reunited one day. I can see where it might be unfair and frustrating to them. But at some point we will stop asking for them. That doesn’t mean we have to stop wishing we might get more one day. Ya know? I can never imagine how it must be to lose a child. The grief must be enormous. I am truly sorry for your loss. And im glad you have accepted that loss and “let him go”(not really). That was what you needed to do to survive the rest of your own life without his physical presence. You, being a medium, already know you will be with him again one day. And that he still exists beyond this earth.