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Discussion
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I'm sagittarius sun and venus, aries moon, taurus rising and virgo mars… And got 93% aquarius on the "true zodiac" quiz.
So… I've realised how much my love has changed as I matured, and how I've simultaneously and progressively started relating more and more to my chart. My definition of love is so completely different from most other people I've met. I hate how popular culture glorifies a form of "love" I personally consider toxic. I consider it possessive, self centered, manipulative, co-dependent, delusional and self deprecating – and sometimes even slightly predatory. I can relate to some of the feelings and internal battles described, which isn't wrong in itself. I'm only human. Grief, jealousy, insecurity and frustration are absolutely things I experience – and I have still have some co-dependent tendencies that I'm working on…
But firstly, there's a sense of entitlement to a lot of people's view on love. The idea that leaving someone who hasn't been abusive is an asshole move. The idea of sort of bribing people into loving them, and being generous, affectionate and present as an investment, rather than something you do for the other person's sake. And they tend to romantisize dependency, thinking the feeling of "needing" the other person to feel complete is sweet, or wanting the other person to be dependent on them. And so on…
To me, love has boundaries but absolutely no conditions. Love isn't desire, infatuation, obsession or dependency. Love is giving rather than taking. Love is less about you and more about the other person. Love is seeing them for who they are, being able to recognize their flaws and still loving them. Love is leaving if the relationship is toxic, but, no matter how much they hurt you, wanting nothing but the best for them – cause love is never vengeful. Love is being able to be absolutely infuriated, but still not ever instinctively wanting to hurt them or ruin things for them. Love is when you'd be willing to make a major effort to improve someone's life or make them happy – even if they'd never know what you did, and even if someone else falsely got the credit, cause you did it 100% for them. Love is loving someone for who they are, not what they do for you; even if the way they make you feel by being themselves can be part of it. Love is never materialistic or shallow. Love is being grateful for the people who make the person you love happy, even if you might experience jelousy or "wish you were them". Love is being grateful when they set boundaries (even when those boundaries mean you wont get what you want), or wanting them to leave if they're no longer happy with you (and it either can't be fixed or they're too tired to try and fix it). Love is smiling and feeling warm inside when finding out someone you love and miss and is no longer in your life has found love and happiness. Love is not giving af what others think of your love. Love is choosing not to let the other person hurt you, partly cause love should include self love, and partly cause you recognize that if they love you – they're hurting themselves by hurting you. Love is being yourself and telling the truth, rather than trying to make them think you're someone you're not cause they'd like you better that way or cause you fear they'd leave you otherwise. Love is validating their feelings and doing your best to fill their needs, as long as you're not disrespecting yourself by doing so. Love is seeing them smile and being overpowered by joy, gratitude and warmth – cause you love seeing them happy, and cause you're just so glad they exist. Love is wanting to be part of their world rather than to be their world. Love is recognizing that no one owes you their love or their presence in your life. Love is swallowing your pride and apologising when you've done something wrong, not cause you're trying to convince them to stay or to make them apologise, but simply cause they deserve for it to be recognized; even if this apology increases the risk of them leaving you.
So… I think this makes a lot of sense in relation to my placements. I also think it aligns perfectly with my immense love for aquarius people and their ways of thinking and acting – cause I genuinely feel like they're the most love-driven sign of all once they feel safe enough to open up and commit. And I'm curious to know whether or not others can relate their way of defining and experiencing love to theirs.
