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Discussion
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I’m heading to work (a grocery store) in a few hours and my coworkers are wearing ugly Christmas sweaters today. I don’t own one, so I’m gonna accessorize extra goth just for the hell of it. All of my coworkers are super supportive and accepting of everything about me, and thankfully most of the customers as well despite living in a pretty white conservative area. 99.9% of the customers who have a comment or question about my appearance are super nice (dyed hair, tattoos, piercings) while the other .1% will have some kind of judgemental question or statement about it.
I’m just waiting for the one middle aged white guy who thinks he’s hilarious to say “Halloween is over!” As Christmas is just around the corner. Any comeback ideas for this or potentially similar comments I may come across?
EDIT: DAMN I did not expect this to blow up 😂 My shift was relatively short today and will be over soon, thankfully (or maybe unfortunately) I haven’t had any snarky comments towards me, but thank you all for the hilarious comebacks! I will definitely store them for the future lol
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Work appropriate comeback ideas to the phrase “Halloween is over?”
updated 1 year, 4 months ago
2 Members
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36
Replies
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“I’m the Nightmare before Christmas”
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Much the same as when someone is sexist, feigning confusion and making them explain themselves usually does the trick to expose why it’s none of their business.
“Halloween is over!”
Confused look “I don’t understand, what you mean?”
“Well you’re wearing all black and it’s almost Christmas!”
Still confused “I’m still not following you.”
Etc.
They’ll either give up or wind up feeling super awkward the more they have to explain why they were clever/funny and you’ll never have had to actually engage in the reactions they wanted or expected.
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“I know, this is my Christmas wardrobe”
“What’s Halloween?” (If you’re dedicated to the bit)
“And your sense of humour is as dull as the rest of you”
“I’m actually dressed as the ghost of woke marxism. Happy holidays”
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“You’re right, only 313 days until the next one! Better get busy!”
The witch cackle is optional, but always welcomed.
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“It’s always Halloween, in my heart” as you stare off into the distance wistfully and oozing drama
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Seems like the perfect time to introduce people to Krampus.
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Everyday is Hallooween if you believe!
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I heard this over the counter from someone who wished me a good weekend. Their co-worker said: “weekend? It’s Monday!” without skipping a beat they said: “it can’t get here fast enough.”
So yeah that’s my standard from then on.
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Stare blankly, don’t address any Halloween comment and in a monotone voice just start randomly taking about the Irish potato famine of the 1800’s that killed a million people
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“Yeah and it’s not April Fools Day either but here you are.”
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When people comment on my mostly black wardrobe at work, I have a couple responses.
Them: “Do you own clothes in any other color?”
Me: “Black is just really practical. It hides the blood stains of my enemies.”Them: “Halloween is over, you know.”
Me: “This isn’t for Halloween. I just came straight from my other job. Ninja assassin.” You could also say you came straight from the coven meeting.These responses usually result in laughs or slowly backing away. Either one works.
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I’m guessing your employer frowns upon snarky comebacks and expects you to stay pleasant with customers? (Obvious exceptions for clear harassment.) Maybe brush it off quickly with a casual “I know, I wish it weren’t! It’s my favorite holiday!” The idea here might be to end the conversation as quickly as possible so you can help the next person.
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Respond “What makes you say that?” Maybe it’ll put him on the spot. But if he does stammer some other snarky remark out I would say “I was taught that it’s not good manners to comment on someone’s personal appearance.” Fuck the fallout, that’s a perfectly logical response and not disrespectful or out of order. The customer is the one who took it to a personal level, you are just stating a fact. I really hope that we can normalize not feeling entitled to make those kind of comments to people when they are working a job.
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I do not believe that rude people deserve the truth, so I’d probably say: “I know, my grandma died, the funeral is today, but my boss made me work part of my shift, so I have to go straight there after work, no time to change”.
ETA:
I had a thyroidectomy, so I have a scar on my neck. The passage of time has seen it fade to being barely noticeable, but in the months immediately following surgery, it was red and glaringly noticeable. Random people would ask me, sometimes accompanied with an audible gasp “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECK?!?!”
At first I would explain about the surgery, but then I decided that random judgmental strangers were not entitled to the truth, so I started making shit up. My answers have ranged from “industrial accident” to “I had a stalker”.
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So is the Inquisition, so mind your own business.
