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Discussion
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Hello. I hope it’s ok, I’ve also posted this on r/spirituality for more insight.
I’ve been just trying to get a grip of my reality within the last 2 weeks. For context, my boyfriend was in a fatal car accident on the 12th. He took my car while drunk, unbeknownst to me, as he told me he had a ride. I would never have let him drive. Not the point. Anyways, he woke me up super drunk around 1:00 AM and just asked a bunch of weird stuff..idk….just drunk I hope..but, basically he was letting me know he was going out to eat with friends. I was barely awake during this conversation, and immediately went back to sleep once he left.
After I went back to sleep, I woke up later with the biggest gut feeling that something was wrong. My stomach and chest were physically hurting, almost like an anxiety attack. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something inside me knew that I needed to get ahold of my boyfriend. I called him immediately, to be answered with a dead phone. Once I heard the voicemail, I texted him: (1:14 AM) “You’re dumb for leaving drunk with a dead phone when will you learn”.
I received his death certificate and quickly realized that 1:14 AM was his exact time of death. I’m heart wrenched that I “knew” somehow before I actually knew. I was heartbroken to think that I maybe could have somehow saved him. And that my last message to him ever was so mean.
I don’t know how to process this, if anyone has any insight that would be great…
P.S,
I don’t know if it matters, but when I received the news of his death I looked at my phone and it was 3:33 AM. I also don’t know how to process that.
Edit: It may be helpful to note that, I confided in him last December that I felt he was my soulmate and that I’ve known his soul before. (Not trying to have a religious discussion). But, we were on shrooms and I feel like I could see and felt his soul and the familiarity. We also dated when we were young. We were very in love at such a young age, but we reunited 7 years later (around last November)
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I felt the moment my boyfriend died
updated 2 years, 7 months ago
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that is a lot to process. he did not get your message in this life, you know? and it was not mean. maybe you just are the more mature soul in this match. maybe there is a number 3 to it? maybe a dumb analogy but I do not really believe in couples. a triangle is a fine thing.
also sometimes what we say to somebody else they actually say to us. you understand this twist? also sometimes the time lines get totally “misplaced”. maybe it was something revisited from a former life cycle to remind you what you really have to look for in this life. the universe gives a damn about human tragedies…not trying to be cold but some “story lines” need to be looked at as just that: a story line to interpret unattached to the momentary drama that is not “real”. (of course it also is reality and I know how sad and shaken you must feel now and it is not wrong but after some time and processing incidents often have a completely different meaning).
may you heal well from this trauma <3
write a letter to him to find some closure and more info on your role in his life. maybe you can bury/cremate it with him. a good bye gift. and there is nothing you could have done to save him. how were you supposed to know what will happen? you need to sleep sometimes and cannot keep constant watch…not a realistic option. it is not your fault.
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Very sorry for your loss and please don’t carry any guilt over what happened. I had to learn this lesson myself. Knew a guy in his late 20’s who served in Afghanistan and came back severely depressed. It was sometimes hard to be around him because as an Empath I could feel his sadness so deeply. I wanted so badly to help him heal but he would not let me in.
He would always be the one to reach out to me to hang out until this one Friday night when he was embedded in my thoughts. I hadn’t seen him in 2 months and the last time I saw him, I kept looking at his motorcycle and expressed to him how he should stop riding it and use his car instead. I decided to text him that night but didn’t receive a response. About 6 days later I find out that he passed in a motorcycle accident that Friday night I texted him and about 10 minutes after his motorcycle collided with a truck. The night before i texted him, I also had a dream that I was laying in a morgue being examined with fatal trauma to my head. This is also what caused his passing in the accident.
Intuitively, I always felt this was no accident and that he decided to end his life that day. This was confirmed a year later when I had a reading with a medium who mentioned him by name, how he passed and that it was intentional. I also found out from a friend of his that he would often talk about me and express how much spending time with me meant to him. I had no idea he felt this way as he never expressed this directly to me. In a way, knowing this made his passing hurt even more and wishing I could’ve done more for him or tried a little harder to help. I often asked Spirit why I didn’t get this vision sooner and in a clearer way. Why after the fact when it’s too late to do anything about it? What’s the point of these dreams and intuition if it’s too late to help? But maybe I wasn’t meant to help. It’s been tough to come to terms with that but I know that there is nothing more I could’ve done, his mind was made up.
He came to visit me in a dream once smiling and dancing.
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Im very sorry to hear this happened… It was your intuitive connection to him. Thats why you felt it. I hope you heal and find happiness and peace.
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🤍🙏🏾
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i am so sorry
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The same thing happened to me when my father died. He was in the hospital and they were trying to resuscitate me, while I was dreaming of him at that same time. A phone call awakened me to say he had died. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. 💔
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So sorry for your loss, nothing you did, or didn’t do will have changed what happened please believe me. If you want to know how you knew, maybe this will help, I get premonition grieving, feelings of deep loss before someone dies, to the point people panic if I mention I have the feeling. This lead to me feeling mentally unwell after the tragic death of my daughters father, my best friend, I got the feeling to the point of primal crying for 5 months before it happened, of course this sounds ridiculous. I ended up touching lucky finding a psychiatrist almost as though the universe had put him win my path, I asked him straight (half expecting to be locked away forever)is there such a thing as premonition grieving, he said without missing a beat, of course there is, for an empath especially, and this is how he explained it (saved my mental health and life) he said time in not linear, it does not go in a straight line, everything that is happening, has already happened, whilst waiting to happen all at the same time. He guided me to research the Akashic records, the records of all that has been and ever will be. Its hard to condense, if you pick up energies, the energies are higher in such incidences and denser and clearer, we have premonition in the guise of recall from being here before, we already experienced it and some part of being an empath can remember all the energies at the same time. imagine a library of everything recorded for all time history and future and you have access to this library because your soul is connected? I hope this helps, sorry for rambling, and agin so sorry for your loss. sending love and healing energy.
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Similar thing happened when my aunt committed suicide. I was at my little brothers Christmas recital and had this intense, overwhelming feeling of despair and that I wanted to die. It was so intense, unlike anything I’d felt before. She passed that night, and she’d called us before but no one answered because of the recital… it’s really heartbreaking.
I think we inevitably have energetic connections with the people we love. It’s somewhat common to have that premonition or moment of empathy, especially if you’re open to receiving them.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please know that he will be with you whenever you need him.
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Sorry for your loss.
I don’t know if it fully counts since he was already in the hospital so it wasn’t that unexpected.
But I had something a bit similar happen when my grandfather passed away. He was my mother’s father, and my mother has two sisters. I dreamt that I was with my mom and her sisters, sitting around the table that had a light like a burning candle on it. And we were all kind of crying and talking about the past, much like people at a funeral often do. When I suddenly couldn’t look away from the candle light anymore, and something in me felt he had ‘gone to the light’. When I woke up I went to my mother to tell her about my dream, and she was on the phone with one of her sisters, they called to let her know he had passed away. -
I felt your pain (and the love you feel for him) through your post, I’m so so sorry this happened. Sending you all the positive energy I can <3
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Sorry for your loss, that’s an awful way to lose someone. I hope both you and him can feel peace and move on someday.
I felt the loss of my father, which is odd because I haven’t been spiritually in tune with anything for a very long time. (I can feel strong emotions and send energy sometimes).
One minute it was a normal day, the next I felt overwhelming peace and somber, yet subtle happiness? It was a weird feeling. He had suffered health issues for a long time and he wanted it to end.. it must have been a relief for him. A couple hours later I got the call from my stepmom.
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Highly recommend finding a somatic therapist to process the physical sensations you experience and how the trauma is being held in your body.
Sorry for your loss. You were clearly deeply connected. Sending good vibes and rest your way.
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I believe I felt the moment my MIL died–I was trying to sleep and thought I heard someone call my name and touch my hand. I sat up and said her name reflexively. I found out later that she died right around that time (she was in another state).
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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I’m extremely sorry for your loss 🥺💔
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Sending you love at this time ❤️
