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Discussion
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I lost my son July 21, 2020. One week exactly from his 21st birthday. I have spent the last 6 months in anguish, pain, suffering..I feel his loss to my core. I want to feel that he is ok and on the other side, but my brain plays these games. Maybe it is my mind playing games. Maybe I feel him with me. Maybe he leaves me signs. Maybe it is wishful thinking from a mother than can’t accept her son’s fate. I have other children but since my son’s Death, I can’t move forward. I am stuck in this endless pain…physical, emotional pain. Nothing else matters. Only my son, that is gone. How do I move on? How do I find actual comfort that he is ok? How do I control the primitive response that my child needs my help?
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I lost my son and I feel lost in the mess of life.
updated 3 years ago 1 Member · 21 Replies
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Contact the group called Compassionate Friends. They helped me through the first few weeks after losing my son. My son died 06-15-2019, I still tell him everyday, I need you. The pain of this loss cannot be fixed. It must be carried.
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I just started watching a docu-series on Netflix called, “Surviving Death;” maybe it would help to watch?
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First , I’m sorry your in deep pain. Just know that we are made of energy. Even the greatest minds have spoken of this. Einstein did. And so did Tesla. Energy transfers. He is a beautiful ball of a few ounces according the psychic community. He is able to visit and observe you. Collective consciousness is what people coin “ heaven”. It’s energetic and it’s pure love and comfort with knowing your path, karmic debt, chosen life. I would recommend wearing healing stones as jewelry. Go with a good grief stone for your heart. Heart chakra stones. Lay down and put it on your chest, sleep with it. Listen to mega hertz meditation for healing and guided tapes. Let your tears flow. Allow self compassion to come to you. Allow those floods to flow. It is a release. Learn deep breathing exercises as well. All available on YouTube to make it easy. Find some teachers you love. Connect with a good medium possibility. It’s okay to heal. You’re subconsciously preventing it. As if you heal your love dies or you were not loyal. That is a false narrative your ego is playing on your brain. The ego is punitive and cruel to us. Your son would rather that you find inner peace. No spiritual light would want you to linger in pain. Baby steps and take the healing initiative. It’s a job. Treat it as such. Consider it to be like “ hygiene “ practice. Daily! Best to you. You can watch me on YouTube @ Tarot by Andie. Plus I do private readings. Tarot by Andie @Gmail.com
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I lost my son on 8-28-2018. He would have been 21 this past June 12th. I’m so sorry that you have to feel this. I’m in the same place you are, asking for signs and never quite sure. I to have other children and they are what has kept me going this long. I’m sending you a lot of hugs I wish with all my heart I could make all of this go away for you and for everyone who has to feel this. ❤️
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Does he leave you signs? Absolutely yes. Please acknowledge it when it happens when you see it and know or even if it hits you after. Acknowledge it for him. Ask him to visit you in your dreams.
Your son is with you and your family always constantly 24/7/365. For he loves you. He doesnt want you to stop living life. You must continue on for your other children. The worst thing he would want is for his siblings to have his loss and feel helpless to help you out of the darkness.
Grieve for feeling the physical loss of your son. When you realize he is not “lost” accept him knowing that he will always be in your life. He will send constant reminders to you and your family. Talk to him constantly. In the silence you will also hear his answers. Know that its not fiction. Trust the love.
May he rest in peace. May you find some solace in all our words to you.
Oh and as for him needing your help. He will be the guardian angel for your family now. He will always be watching and will never be alone..
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He’s with you frequently. Standing behind you with his arms around your shoulders. If you want confirmation ask him for a specific sign, and just wait for it.
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He wants to help you. Its not wishful thinking. The signs are for you.
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He’s with you. He’s always with you. I lost my mother and she came to me to make sure that I knew it was her. She’s also come to me twice as a hummingbird right up to my face to let me know and 4 times as a dragonfly. Right up to me to make sure that I’m not chalking up my encounter to coincide. I’ve felt her hug me too. That freaked me out but my niece who’s a Medium told me as it was happening. A mother’s love can never diminish, no matter which side of this coin you’re on
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https://www.helpingparentsheal.org
A lot of great resources here <3
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I’m so very sorry for your loss. Moving on is such a scary, painful, but healing emotion that will slowly happen but your son will always be in your heart. I hope you are surrounded with loving family and friends, and the happy memories comfort you during this time.
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My daughter is in spirit. I have found some comfort in connecting with her. I recommend this Facebook group: Mediumship for the Grieving Heart. It’s a group intended for helping parents connect with their kids.
I also recommend Helping Parents Heal. They have online groups as well as in-person groups, though I’m not sure how that’s working with Covid. The Madison, Wisconsin group is co-led by Mary Bertun who has created her own program for connecting.
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Even in life we must let our children go so they grow up and you can do that. It’s not like you’ll forget him. But by hanging on we forget our own happiness. Be selfish in the way that you’ll say *I’m going to live my life, without him*. Say it as boldly and you’ll be staring at the needed acceptance. Get the words “moving on” out of your head because it’s not moving away from, it’s actually moving closer to where he now is: a pure state of joy. If you aren’t there with him In joy how are you supposed to connect? Allow yourself that. This whole life experience is a game in self-allowance in how we want to feel.
I think moms are confused in the sense that when this happens *they don’t know how or what to feel*. Nobody prepares them. Nobody talks about it. Nobody says “well, be happy anyways.” Because they’re afraid they’ll upset you and it sounds absurd but I ask you – what do you have left other than the choice to overcome? I’m saying you’re programmed to a sense of desperation and longing and nobody will say “be selfishly happy.”
There’s no such thing as death. It’s an absurd societal control measure. This keeps the allowance not-flowing. Re-program to “eh, I’ll see him again.” Death is much like the needle that isn’t so bad. What we don’t understand we tend to fear. I believe it’s this fear that you’re accustomed to, you’ve now confronted mortality through another which only raises questions. We stand up to fear by confronting it and then it melts away. Say “I’m going to die too. Not yet, though.”
The cycle of life-death isn’t even logical in the sense that if we don’t (or can’t) experience “pure death”, because pure death wouldn’t be “experienced”, yet you’ve found yourself to be alive (your prooF), then the cycle is quite obviously life-life-life-life continued instead of this odd life-death-life-death cycle between that which is night & day, there is only ever day. If you’d step back and see it this way you’ll see the “big joke”. It isn’t even *logical*.
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I’m sorry you lost your son. A grief therapist can help. We are told so many lies about grief. First of all you get through this not over it. It will get easier. Talk to him. There’s nothing wrong with “today I saw this and thought of you”. The one year mark tends to be, for most, making it to a bit easier but there’s no deadline. I don’t want to say “omg I’m dealing so much better”. It’s more “I’m less likely to break out crying in a grocery store when I hear a song”. This shit is hard. There is no. you must deal better by this time. It’s your grief no one gets to tell you “you should be over it”. Those idiots haven’t experienced loss, ignore them. You get through this. Once again grief therapist, support group or any people who have a bit of experience and understanding with how hard this is can help you at least talk And figure ways to make it day to day. This shit is hard. Acknowledge the signs. It’s amazing and great to get signs. While I did not lose a son I lost someone close to me. Sending you hugs 💜
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I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I am going into my meditation right now and I will concentrate on your comfort. Tiny offering, I know.
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He’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.
