MemberNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
My son is living with my mom for his senior year because I moved closer to the schools my other kids attend 150 miles away. This week was her first time attending a parent-teacher conference in decades. His English teacher ipened their conversation with “I suspected “Kid name” was raised by strong women.” My mom says “Well yes, thank you.” He then rolls into how my kid is struggling because he doesn’t understand the emotional nuance in the reading material even though he reads very quickly and has excellent retention. It is a standard English class and the teacher is also confused because almost all my kid’s other classes are AP or IB and he is getting good grades in them. In fact, his other teachers could not say enough good things about him as a student.
Mom kept her cool and explained that kid has unofficially diagnosed autism. (He is also passing the class with a B, so there is actually no problem.) The teacher then ended the conference. Did not want to hear that isn’t my or my mom’s fault that my kid struggles with understanding feeling conveyed indirectly in text.
Before anyone gets on me about not having my kid’s diagnosis wrapped up and presented to his school – I was in the process when it became obvious that the public schools I had enrolled him in before high school could NOT handle my kid in a respectful, helpful, or compassionate way. School stressed him tf out and it was better for his development to homeschool him .The Sudburry style school he went to for a year was great before I ran out of money for tuition. He has friends and runs a weekly DnD group that is made up largely of the kids who are also part of the gay/straight alliance at school. He is doing fine socially now that he has grown into himself and has more self control. Aside from his comparative “struggles” of only getting an average grade in an average English class, there are not problems at school – he’s graduating HS this year with only a Writing 121 credit short of an associates in computer science. Also, am a simgle mom with 4 kids. I have limits and an IEP for high school for a kid who doesn’t need one is not where I needed to put my energy.
Whatever. My mom (and me too, tbh) are fuming that this teacher wanted to blame the women in his life for my kid’s alleged shortcomings. Like nah dude – my kid and I have spent countless hours talking about social interactions and feelings. He isn’t f’ing broken and aside from my genetic contribution, his neurodivergence isn’t because of how I raised him – probably the opposite.
Sorry for writing a novel.
44morejumpersplsGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
Did the teacher explain how having strong women around would prevent him from picking up emotional nuance? Like, what?
BaobhanSithOwlGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
Teacher here. This is ridiculous. As teachers we should inspire personal connections when reading and analyzing literature. The teacher needs to find ways your son can personally connect to the characters instead of blaming his upbringing. If he doesn’t connect in the ways his teacher wants him to then the teacher needs to help him to connect in other ways. Everyone connects to literature differently!
LaughingfoxcreatesGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
“This child is doing poorly because he doesn’t understand normal weak woman feelings that arise from woman periods.” -This teacher probably.
MinervaZeeGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
I’d bring up the teacher’s comments to the principal. They’re insulting.
ladygoodgreenGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
That’s weird. Aren’t women supposed to be “emotional”? I would think that being raised by strong women would help in that area? Come on guy, at least keep your misogyny consistent. 🙄
Cayke_CookyGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
Is this the old “refrigerator mom” theory of autism? You don’t see that very often, it was an old theory that autism was caused by not enough motherly love. Bullshit, but you can look it up if you want to get madder.
musicmous3GuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
This teacher is so full of shit it’s insane. Being around strong women should make one even more emotionally intelligent.
SSR_AdraethGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
The irony of a male teacher saying “yes the student is emotionally incapable because he was raised by strong women”… while so many men consider that being a real man means basically being a stone with no emotions ever… That irony is not lost on me…
mangoblaster85GuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
Teacher: Your child is an excellent academic in every other regards except my class.
I’d be inclined to tell the teacher it sounds more like there’s a problem with your instruction, buddy, unless you can say this is the only student having an issue with your teaching method.
Proper_Librarian_533GuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
All I read was “I’m a shitty teacher compared to his other teachers. I can’t handle that fact so I’m going to blame women instead of taking responsibility.”
Ruhro7GuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
This teacher makes *no* sense. Isn’t it a common stereotype that women in general are more emotional or tied to emotion?? And strong women in particular (thinking women in powerful positions) are so frequently “called out” for being “overly emotional”?? Stupid, stupid misogynist.
Main_Capital_7033GuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
As someone raised by strong women(and also possibly on the spectrum? Back when I had the money I never had the inclination to get tested, and now that I have the inclination I don’t have the money), I gotta say I’m struggling to understand the emotional nuance behind this man’s not-even-trying-to-hide-it misogyny. Last I checked women were supposed to be the emotional ones, so if we’re gonna be misogynistic can we at least try and keep our stories straight?
frustrated_staffGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
“Struggling because he can’t read nuance”? That teach need to GTFO. Too many kids at that age can’t even read, at all, let alone “nuance”. F***ing focus on those poor souls. That teach is a misogynist a**hole
EtherealMoonGoddessGuestNovember 24, 2022 at 6:32 pm
If I was your mom, I would of flat out asked the English teacher if he is sexist and made him purposely uncomfortable about it. Because there is no reason for it. Him being raised by women doesn’t mean anything.
Most men don’t raise their children, it’s always done by women. So that teacher needs a wake up call.
And since your son has autism, they have a hard time understanding other people’s emotions. I can only imagine through written word how they could struggle to understand that.
Teacher is straight up sexist, who the hell get upset and wants to blame being raised by women as the purpose? Fuck him.