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Discussion
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My (49) wife (37) is considering sterilization. Just went to a new DR (nurse practitioner) to discuss IUD removal and other options. I was so very happy she was not even asked about my opinion. She was not asked how many children she already has (0), not asked to take a mental health test, nothing not medically necessary. Maybe some things are getting better? Anyway, hope y’all have a good day too.
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Dr didn’t ask for my input.
updated 1 year, 9 months ago
2 Members
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Haha you had me in the title only for me to be pleasantly surprised. Best of luck to you and your wife!
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OP I’m so happy for y’all! I went to a new OBGYN last week and told them I wanted my tubes tied and I was fully prepared for an argument as why I can’t get one; 28 years old isn’t old enough, my future hypothetical man might want kids, ect.
And all my OBGYN said was ok, when do you want to schedule it? I burst into tears because I did NOT expect to be allowed to make this choice over my body.
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When I was planning my second C-section, my doctor asked if I was done having kids and offered a tubal ligation during the procedure. I agreed. During the birth, as they handed me my newborn she verbally asked for my consent. I was distracted and my husband answered that yes, I did. My doctor very firmly, but professionally, told him some variation of, “thank you, but I didn’t ask you.”
This was also the hospital where I checked in and a salty old nurse bossily told my husband to sit while she showed me where to change. She shut the door behind us and went through a safety checklist very quickly. “Do you feel safe at home? Do you feel supported,” etc. The hospital is located in an affluent area and all of the pee cups have colored labels. Red for I need help, green for I’m safe, etc. My husband is wonderful, but if I did feel unsafe or trapped, I have no doubt they were ready to deal with it.
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I’d count that as good.
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In my somewhat conservative small town our OB/GYN group does tubals often. I took care of a 22 year old the other week that got one. No kids.
They also do total hysterectomies for trans patients. They’re a pretty cool group -
I appreciate hearing your story of competence in the realm of women’s reproductive rights. Sometimes it’s exhausting to read terrifying story after story of the all-too-common minimization of women in this sphere. Thank you for sharing!
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When I find a good doctor like that I’m so grateful. I love my GP and my cardiologist and I’m afraid they will be lured away from our rural area at some point.
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Had this experience lately (31F), so excited I found a new great gyn!!!!!
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My new Dr did the same to me when I went in to discuss getting my IUD removed and to ask about getting a bisalp. Was over the moon 😂
On a related note – if she does go the surgical route, happy to offer recovery tips!
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Perhaps this is an unnecessary addition, but I want to add that 22 years ago, I sold cars for a short stint. We were specifically taught that if a married man is buying a car, you should ensure he has his wife’s permission. But if a woman is buying a car, NEVER ask her to talk to her husband about it.
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There are growing lists of providers that do not make you go through hoops for tubal sterilization. Right now, I’ve only seen it in the reproductive rights groups, but it’s a pretty big list in the US and it’s growing!
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I went to my doctor a week or so ago asking for a tubal litigation. She recommended a bilateral salpingectomy. Taking the tubes OUT. No questions at all except for “is this phone number the correct one to contact you for scheduling?”
Had a near panic attack walking from the parking deck to the office and was floating on air upon leaving.
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I got my tubes removed last week, at my consultation, my amazing doctor (woman) only asked me if I was sure because it’s permanent. I didn’t have to give any reasoning other than I don’t want children! I’m 22, unmarried, no kids. Amazing
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I doubt very much that would be the case if she were under 35.
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That’s awesome! Sounds like a really respectful doc who actually puts their patient first. If all goes well and she does go the sterilization route, please consider sending the doc’s info over to the r/childfree sub to be added to the list! We are always looking for good docs like this to add, who listen to their patients, don’t ask for input from spouse etc. Not sure if you have kids already or never had any, but it’s a plus for us if the doc approves the surgery for someone younger or someone who never had kids. I have even heard of people into their 30s having issues with this especially if they’ve never given birth. Every bit helps and every good doc helps our chances, though.
