Dr didn’t ask for my input.

[f1ve-Star]

My (49) wife (37) is considering sterilization. Just went to a new DR (nurse practitioner) to discuss IUD removal and other options. I was so very happy she was not even asked about my opinion. She was not asked how many children she already has (0), not asked to take a mental health test, nothing not medically necessary. Maybe some things are getting better? Anyway, hope y’all have a good day too.

Discussion

[Agitated_Secret_7259]

The doc asked my partner when I was being prepped for the unexpected c-section 2 1/2 years ago when I said while you’re in there do something useful – you could HEAR her eyes rolling and the disdain on her voice when she legally had to ask his opinion. He said “ not my body so I have no opinion”.
Fast forward to this coming October and I’m having a hysterectomy and this time there was no discussion about someone else’s opinion on it. Only my doctors in which method he’ll use

[snowinsummer00]

Things are definitely not getting better lol. You just encountered a doctor who sees other women as human. That’s a low bar to meet.

[one_bean_hahahaha]

I had a tubal done a decade ago. The only question my GP (super Christian, openly anti-abortion, etc) asked was why wasn’t my husband getting a vasectomy instead, as that would be less invasive. The short answer was that I had medical coverage, and my husband, who still only had visitor status in Canada, did not. No problem. Made the referral.

The only question my gynecologist asked was to confirm my consent for the procedure.

When I hear horror stories nowadays, it feels like a whole lot has changed in just a short period of time.

[2art2read]

My daughter (23) JUST-as in today-was sterilized. I am SO grateful she could. She can not use hormonal birth control due to blood clot risks, and she does not want children. The doctor and her staff have been amazing; and while the process had its share of bumps along the way, my daughter persevered.

[NonAdorable]

I’d love if gyn asked my husband if he would like to have his “tubes” tied instead of mine.

[tallestgiraffkin]

If you provide the city and name of the Dr it can be added to r/childfree ‘s list of doctors who don’t suck

[ladygrayfox]

A male friend of mine who is nearly 50, happily married with 2 kids is working on getting a vasectomy. And even in California, he has to go to classes and a whole rigamarole. Ridiculous.

[eliyAha]

I removed my comment because I misunderstood. My mind simply didn’t compute a man having a common sense opinion about a woman’s decision on the internet. Thanks for sharing something good. It had been a while.

[AkamaiHaole]

I was thrilled with the doctor who did my partner’s bisalp. The only thing she said in regards to me was that she appreciated that I was there to support her decision.

[PrairieCanuckGirl]

That’s a win as is a husband who appreciates how much of a win it is. I will indeed be smiling today about your experience, thanks for sharing.

[spiritjacket52]

After I was “cleared for activity” following my second’s birth, my doctor made it clear that just because I was medically cleared did not mean I had to be ready or that I was obligated to do anything with my partner until I was ready in every sense. She said she would lie to my husband if I wanted 😂

My partner would never have pushed me before I was comfortable but I thoroughly appreciated that she was 100% there for me and that she is there for others who don’t have as patient and understanding a partner as mine.

We moved about 30 minutes further away soon after, but I’m not looking for a new doctor. She’s worth the drive.

[TiredIrons]

When I (45) got a vasectomy, they asked my spouse (46) if she wanted kids.

[Savanni_De_Heart]

I was about to let you know about the Child Free reddit that has a Dr list for ppl seeking sterilization. But I am happy that you do not need that information. Also to anyone else that my be seeking sterilization and do not have a Dr. that will do it, please check out that list it has Dr. listed for the US and International.

[Gynmom]

As an OBGyn I ask my patients 3 questions when they ask for a tubal ligation.

1. If you won the lottery and money was never an issue again, would you want children (more children, if they have them)
2. If your current partner died and you were to meet someone new, would you want children(more)
3. If your children were to die, would you want more (If they have children)

Note that every question is about YOU. No one else has a right to dictate your medical decision making.

Medical research has shown time and time again that the most frequent complication of tubal ligation has nothing to do with surgical risk but is regret. That being said at the end of the day as long as the patient is fully aware of the permanence and surgical risks, they have autonomy over their body. Our job is to provide you with all of the education and information to allow you to come to best medical decision for you, as long as it is safe.

[Mrs_Jellybean]

I was recently sterilized. My pregnancies were fine, but the deliveries were traumatic. Since my last one, I’ve struggled with incontinence issues.

OB only asked “you’re sure?” once. I absolutely admire and respect my OB.